The Brady Bunch Movie Page #3

I'll bet you'd feel right at home there.

Blue skies, clean living, Osmonds.

Thanks, Larry, but I'm still not

interested in moving. I love this house.

Carol, the kids and Alice all love it.

It was our first house all together.

- Half a mill. Take it or leave it.

- There's nothing could get us to sell.

I designed this house myself.

It's in perfect condition.

Carol thinks so, kids think so,

Alice thinks so. I'm sorry.

Well, you can't blame

a guy for trying, huh?

Putz.

Excuse me, Mr Dittmeyer,

but as a member of the safety patrol,

I warn you your hedge is overgrown...

...and could block the view

for oncoming traffic.

I was on my bike

and checked the sight-lines myself.

You see, Billy... Like it matters.

...I grew my hedge tall for a reason:

So I wouldn't have to see your family.

Thanks for your concern.

See you later.

- Hey there, groovy chick.

- Great!

- Do I look like a yellow, fuzzy baby bird?

- That's funny, Donna.

You are really happening

in a far-out way.

- How about going for a soda later?

- Sorry, I've got a step class.

If you're having step problems,

I'll carry your books to History class.

I can hold my own books.

And it's not History, it's Herstory.

Wow!

Hi, everybody.

- Hey, Marcia.

- Hello, Doug Simpson.

God, she drives me crazy.

- I've got to have that.

- I live next door.

She's harder to get into

than a Pearl Jam concert.

- What are you guys talking about?

- Just how twisted the Bradys are.

Especially Marcia.

What a retro wannabe.

I think Peter's a babe.

Well, in a Gilligan sort of way.

- What are you, nuts?

- Biology.

- Take notes.

- What?

- Hi, Marcia.

- Hi.

- My mom said I could sleep over.

- That's great, Noreen.

Guess what else.

Doug just said hi to me.

- He is so dreamy, isn't he?

- Yeah, I guess.

If you like that sort of thing.

- Can I carry your books?

- Sure, Noreen.

After all, you are my best friend.

- Here's Doug. Go away.

- Sure.

- No, no, stay... No, no, leave.

- Bye.

No, stay and pretend

I just said something really funny.

Hi, Marcia.

- What's up?

- Oh, hi, Doug.

Would you go to the dance with me

Friday night?

Sure, that would be a blast.

- Cool. You'll hear from me.

- Great.

He's so out of sight.

- Oh, my gosh. I just remembered.

- What?

I already told Charlie

I'd go to the dance with him.

I can't go out with two boys at once.

I like Charlie, but Doug is so cute.

And, after all,

he is the big man on campus.

Noreen, what am I going to do?

This is the worst mess

I've ever gotten myself into.

My life is over.

So that is what males experience

during the onset of puberty.

Now, as far as the young women are

concerned, first we begin with ovulation,

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