The Big Wedding

Synopsis: Don and Ellie were once married and have two children, Lyla and Jared. They adopt a boy from Colombia, Alejandro. Eventually they would divorce, Ellie would move away and Don would hook up with Bebe, Ellie's best friend. When Alejandro is about to get married, he informs Don and Ellie that he never told his natural mother who is so traditional that they got divorced. And she is coming for the wedding so he asks them if they can pretend to still be married. Don and Ellie reluctantly agree to it and Bebe moves out who is also upset that Don doesn't want to commit. Lyla who is married is going through a rough patch in her marriage. And Jared who hasn't had much luck with women finds himself attracted to Alejandro's extremely sensual sister, Nuria.
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Director(s): Justin Zackham
Production: Lionsgate Films
  2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.6
Metacritic:
28
Rotten Tomatoes:
8%
R
Year:
2013
89 min
$21,500,000
Website
145 Views

There's an old expression

that marriage is like

a phone call in the night.

First comes the ring, and then you wake up.

My wife, Ellie, and l were married

for 20 years before we woke up.

Or fell asleep.

Or whichever it was

that ultimately led to our divorce.

But we never stopped loving each other.

How could we,

after three beautiful children?

Jared, Lyla, and our adopted son, Alejandro.

We had built a home, and a history,

and a family together,

and that stuffjust doesn't evaporate

with the stroke of a pen

and some lawyer's fees.

At least l hope it doesn't.

Hello?

Oh, wow.

Yep.

Look at them.

l mean, you can't be serious.

l mean, it's really that gargantuan of a deal?

lt's blasphemy.

Which do you think came first?

The Catholic Church, or cunnilingus?

Please do not use that language.

What do you mean,

l can't say "Catholic Church"?

No. The other thing.

Hercules, be quiet.

What do l use in its place?

You know,

when it comes up in conversation.

Well, that is the point.

lt's not supposed

to come up in conversation.

How about chowing box?

Stop it, Donald.

- Muff diving?

- Stop. You're so bad.

Poon job?

Poon job?

Well, l just had lunch, but if you insist.

Donny!

Oh, my...

Cunnilingus.

You are such a slut.

Lucky girl.

- Sorry. Oh, my...

- Oh, jeez!

Eleanor?

- Hi.

- Hi.

Oh, my God. l don't...

Really, l'm so terribly sorry.

He told me that nobody was here.

And l don't know why he did.

The key was over...

Anyway, l'm just...

l'm gonna... You know what l'm gonna do?

Oh, my goodness. Ellie?

- Hi, Bebe.

- Hi.

You look... You look wonderful.

Thanks. But...

Gosh, it's been such a long time.

lt's great to see you. l hardly...

l hardly recognize you.

l mean, you look so...

- So?

- So... So...

- Unexpected.

- Unexpected.

- No, that's not...

- Hey, there's Donald.

Ellie. You look like a summer day.

Well, that's because you're on the floor.

Hey, what else is new?

Yeah. Thanks.

How long's it been?

- Ten years.

- lmpossible.

- You're not, l'm...

- Oh, no, that's okay.

- No, that's just...

- The little blue helper.

What goes up doesn't always come down.

lt's like a blue thing, like that.

l thought you weren't

getting in till around 5:00.

6:
30.

You didn't tell me that.

Well, that's fine.

l just took a little stroll through the village,

and it's just so amazing

how little things have changed.

Oh, God.

Honey, why don't you

take her up to the Embroidery Room.

l'm gonna round up some sheets.

At your service, madame.

- Right this way.

- Thank you.

The Embroidery Room?

Your old office. l don't go in there.

She's got you on the wagon?

l ain't had a steak or a drink in three years.

l can't sculpt worth a fart,

but they give me a lollipop

every time l leave the cardiologist.

Where are the kids?

Jared's at work

and Al's enjoying Pre-Cana with Missy.

Pre-Cana, oh, no.

You mean the Catholic thing with the priest?

Yeah, you know the O'Connors.

Matrimony is God's greatest gift

to his children.

To be sanctified, nurtured and protected

against the seeds of dissent,

we're told too often

lead to the chasms of discord,

from which too often

many of today's unions

are unable to recover.

lt all too often leads to divorce,

which is a sin

in the eyes of God.

But no pressure.

Melissa, how long have

you and this young man been courting?

Just over a year.

But we've known each other

since middle school.

Alejandro, is it?

You do speak English, don't you?

No. No, actually, l don't.

l see.

He just graduated from Harvard.

Him and half of China.

He also speaks five languages,

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Justin Zackham

Justin Zackham is an American and British screenwriter, director and producer. He wrote the hit films The Bucket List, One Chance, and the FX series Lights Out, and The Big Wedding, which he also directed. more…

All Justin Zackham scripts | Justin Zackham Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"The Big Wedding" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 22 Jul 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_big_wedding_19785>.

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