The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas

Synopsis: Founded in 1910 just outside of the city limits of Gilbert located in Lanville County, Texas, the Chicken Ranch has for generations been known as the best whorehouse in Texas for its wholesome fun, strict moral code and cleanliness, all perpetuated by its original owner, Miss Wulla Jean. Seven years ago, Miss Wulla Jean passed on, leaving the Chicken Ranch to her favorite working girl, Miss Mona Stangley, who wants to keep the same traditions of Miss Wulla Jean. The Chicken Ranch has always had the unofficial blessing of the local authorities, who see the ranch providing an important community service, one which most in local authority have used at one time or another in their life. In fact, Miss Mona and Lanville County Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd have been in a relationship for years, Ed Earl who is Miss Mona's protector, albeit one with a hot temper and good ol' boy attitude that doesn't exactly match the needs of his law upholding position. That blessing may change when television persona
Genre: Comedy, Musical
Director(s): Colin Higgins
Production: Universal Pictures
  Nominated for 1 Oscar. Another 2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.8
Rotten Tomatoes:
56%
R
Year:
1982
114 min
233 Views

It was the nicest little whorehouse

you ever saw.

It lay about a mile outside the city limits,

so everybody could feel real friendly.

Sheriff Jack Roy Wallace picked it out

for Miss Wulla Jean in 1910,...

...and she moved there with her girls from

over the hardware store on main street.

# Oh, the little house lay

# In a green Texas glade

# Where the trees were as coolin'

# As fresh lemonade

# Soft summer wind

had a trace of perfume

# And a fan was turnin' in every room

# Twenty fans were turnin',

they were turnin'

# Twenty fans were turnin' in every room

# Fevers were a-burnin',

they were burnin'

# And they had to have

a way to cool down

Right from the beginning,

the little house was special,...

...like a home away from home.

Miss Wulla Jean put a Pianola

in the parlour to sorta help break the ice.

A fella could ask a girl to dance

or, if he held back a little, she'd ask him.

And pretty soon they'd get

a little business goin'.

Two dollars' worth.

Yahoo!

It wasn't long before it became one of the

better-known pleasure palaces in Texas.

So much so that the fellas

who visited during World War I...

...sent their sons back in World War I I.

The hospitality and friendliness

never changed,...

...and neither did Miss Wulla Jean's

strict set of rules.

She liked her ladies, as she called 'em,...

...to treat her customers real good,

but never in an unladylike way.

And she insisted that each girl

check her gentleman for the clap...

...and wash him off

with soap and warm water.

Some of the fellas claimed that

that was the best part!

Oo-ee!

It was only durin' the Hoover Depression

that the little house had tough times.

Miss Wulla Jean put in a jukebox

to spark up business.

But it wasn't always easy in them days

to come up with hard cash.

Well, you just keep that in the bag...

...and I'll take it out back

as soon as we're finished.

So for a while, as the story goes,...

...the girls began acceptin'

poultry in trade.

One bird, one lay.

And that's how the place got its name.

The Chicken Ranch.

Course, if you grew up

anywhere in Texas,...

...you knew at an early age

they was sellin' somethin' out there,...

...and it wasn't poultry.

# Twenty fans were turnin',

they were turnin'

# Twenty fans were turnin' in every room

# Fevers were a-burnin',

they were burnin'

# And they had to have

a way to cool down

# Twenty fans were hummin',

they were hummin'

# Twenty fans were hummin'

in every room

# Customers were comin',

they were comin'

# And they had to have

a way to cool down

# Twenty fans were turnin',

they were turnin'

# Twenty fans were turnin' in every room

# Fevers were a-burnin',

they were burnin'

# And they had to have

a way to cool down

# Twenty fans were hummin',

they were hummin'

# Twenty fans were hummin'

in every room

# Customers were comin',

they were comin'

# And they had to have

a way to cool down

Y'all come back now, you hear?

Yahoo!

# Twenty fans were turnin',

they were turnin'

# Twenty fans were turnin' in every room

# Fevers were a-burnin',

they were burnin'

# And they had to have

a way to cool down

# Twenty fans were turnin',

they were turnin'

# Twenty fans were turnin' in every room

# Fevers were a-burnin',

they were burnin'

# And they had to have

a way to cool down

- # Hallelujah

- # Hallelujah

For three generations, the Chicken Ranch

went peacefully about its business...

...while the people in Gilbert

went about theirs.

That is, until about seven years ago.

I was a deputy back then,

workin' for Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd.

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Larry L. King

Larry L. King (January 1, 1929 –December 20, 2012) was an American playwright, journalist, and novelist, best remembered for his 1978 Tony Award-nominated play The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, which became a long-running production on Broadway and was later turned into a feature film starring Burt Reynolds, Charles Durning and Dolly Parton. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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