The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
- R
- Year:
- 1982
- 114 min
- 1,919 Views
It was the nicest little whorehouse
you ever saw.
It lay about a mile outside the city limits,
so everybody could feel real friendly.
Sheriff Jack Roy Wallace picked it out
for Miss Wulla Jean in 1910,...
...and she moved there with her girls from
over the hardware store on main street.
# Where the trees were as coolin'
# As fresh lemonade
# Soft summer wind
had a trace of perfume
# And a fan was turnin' in every room
# Twenty fans were turnin',
they were turnin'
# Twenty fans were turnin' in every room
# Fevers were a-burnin',
they were burnin'
# And they had to have
a way to cool down
Right from the beginning,
the little house was special,...
...like a home away from home.
Miss Wulla Jean put a Pianola
in the parlour to sorta help break the ice.
A fella could ask a girl to dance
or, if he held back a little, she'd ask him.
And pretty soon they'd get
Two dollars' worth.
Yahoo!
It wasn't long before it became one of the
better-known pleasure palaces in Texas.
So much so that the fellas
who visited during World War I...
...sent their sons back in World War I I.
The hospitality and friendliness
never changed,...
...and neither did Miss Wulla Jean's
strict set of rules.
She liked her ladies, as she called 'em,...
...to treat her customers real good,
but never in an unladylike way.
And she insisted that each girl
check her gentleman for the clap...
...and wash him off
with soap and warm water.
Some of the fellas claimed that
that was the best part!
Oo-ee!
It was only durin' the Hoover Depression
that the little house had tough times.
Miss Wulla Jean put in a jukebox
to spark up business.
But it wasn't always easy in them days
to come up with hard cash.
Well, you just keep that in the bag...
...and I'll take it out back
as soon as we're finished.
So for a while, as the story goes,...
poultry in trade.
One bird, one lay.
And that's how the place got its name.
The Chicken Ranch.
Course, if you grew up
anywhere in Texas,...
...you knew at an early age
they was sellin' somethin' out there,...
...and it wasn't poultry.
# Twenty fans were turnin',
they were turnin'
# Twenty fans were turnin' in every room
# Fevers were a-burnin',
they were burnin'
# And they had to have
a way to cool down
# Twenty fans were hummin',
they were hummin'
# Twenty fans were hummin'
in every room
# Customers were comin',
they were comin'
# And they had to have
a way to cool down
# Twenty fans were turnin',
they were turnin'
# Twenty fans were turnin' in every room
# Fevers were a-burnin',
they were burnin'
# And they had to have
a way to cool down
# Twenty fans were hummin',
they were hummin'
# Twenty fans were hummin'
in every room
# Customers were comin',
they were comin'
# And they had to have
a way to cool down
Y'all come back now, you hear?
Yahoo!
# Twenty fans were turnin',
they were turnin'
# Twenty fans were turnin' in every room
# Fevers were a-burnin',
they were burnin'
# And they had to have
a way to cool down
# Twenty fans were turnin',
they were turnin'
# Twenty fans were turnin' in every room
# Fevers were a-burnin',
they were burnin'
# And they had to have
a way to cool down
- # Hallelujah
- # Hallelujah
For three generations, the Chicken Ranch
went peacefully about its business...
...while the people in Gilbert
went about theirs.
That is, until about seven years ago.
I was a deputy back then,
workin' for Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd.
about your appointment.
That was right after I had lost
the fried chicken franchise,...
...while Ed Earl had been sheriff
ever since old Jack Roy Wallace retired.
Everybody liked Ed Earl,
especially Ed Earl.
Course, he sure did know his job,
and he was a big influence on me.
Taught me everything I know.
He used to like to run a quiet town...
...with plenty of time off for socialisin'
and coffee over at Dulcie Mae's Caf.
Oh, now and again there'd be a problem,
and we had some tough ones.
Like the time the mule
sat on Miss Modene's car.
He just buckled up his legs
and sat down.
She was really havin' a hissy fit,
but it didn't faze Ed Earl.
He just walked over to that jackass
and laid down the law.
You see, Ed Earl always
believed in talkin' first.
Cool reasonin', he used to tell me,
could solve any problem.
Course, he did have a bit of a temper.
Anyway, just about the time he became
sheriff, Miss Wulla Jean passed on.
She left the Chicken Ranch to her
favourite workin' girl, Mona Stangely,...
...who saw the little house
as a Texas institution...
...and aimed to keep it that way.
# It's just a little-bitty
pissant country place
# Ain't nothin' much to see
# No drinkin' allowed
# We get a nice quiet crowd
# Plain as it can be
# It's just a piddly, squattin'
old-time country place
# Ain't nothin' too high-toned
# Just lots of goodwill
# But there's nothin' dirty goin' on
# Nothin' dirty goin' on
# We get simple farmers,
local businessmen
young boys lookin' for sin
# Now, we used to get
a lot of roughnecks
# When the oil boom was high
# But payday'd get a little rowdy
# It's just a little-bitty
pissant country place
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"The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 26 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_best_little_whorehouse_in_texas_3940>.
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