The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel Page #3

where all the residents

are in their golden years.

Like the Costa Brava?

Yeah, but with more elephants.

You know

who'll be there- Indians.

Loads of them.

Brown faces and black hearts.

Reeking of curry.

And you never see one

on their own, do you?

I mean, they always-

they move in packs.

Makes it easier to rob you

blind, cut your throat.

You know what?

You can wheel yourself from here.

You're supposed to

take me to my flat.

My wife's from Mumbai.

Well, don't blame me, mate.

You married her.

My wife's from Mumbai.

Has anyone thought about what happens

when you get to the other end?

They said somebody's

going to meet us in Jaipur.

How are we going to know

you're all right?

Well, I'll call.

They do have phones there, you know.

Or you can read my blog.

Your what?

On the lnterweb.

Just log in whenever you

like and read my news.

Well, I hope the first item

will be announcing your return.

I don't suppose they'll be

paying for the journey back.

Look, before I go, I wonder, could

you say one thing that's supportive?

I've never done anything like

this in the whole of my life.

You've never done

anything at all without Dad.

I don't think you'll

be able to cope. Well,

let's just find out,

shall we?

And the connecting flight to

Jaipur is first class too?

That's right.

I tell you. it's tough

to get upgraded nowadays.

I had to flirt so hard

with the travel agent,

it was practically

phone sex.

Oh.

Well, this is my lucky day.

Sir.

We'd like to take a look in

this bag, madam, if you don't mind.

What have you

got in here anyway?

It's just PG Tips.

And some brown sauce.

Thirty-one packets

of chocolate Hobnobs.

That's pickled onions

and, yeah, pickled eggs.

And that's just pickles.

Pickles.

- No liquids on the plane.

- What's that mean?

It means you can't take

the pickled onions...

or the pickled eggs.

The pickles fine.

Oh!

Obviously, one

has read one's Kipling,

but we view this as an opportunity

to explore another culture,

as well as making

new friends.

And a High Court judge is just the

class of guest one was hoping for.

isn't it, Douglas?

Sorry?

And, um, is this your

first time in India? Yes.

You don't look like

an experienced traveler.

Oh, I'm not.

But one has read one's guidebooks.

It should be there.

No.

Oh.

Oh. Hi.

Hello. We haven't met.

Norman Cousins.

Madge Hardcastle.

A pleasure.

Play your cards right,

and it could be.

Look. My chair. What?

Oh, yes, yes. Hang on.

May I have your attention, please?

We regret to announce cancellation

of Flight 105 to Jaipur,

owing to bad weather

at the destination..

We apologize

for any inconvenience caused

Right.

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