The Bag Man Page #2

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person who can appraise the

value, the fabric if you will,

of the people who work for me.

Jesus Christ!

You'd think I'd have a goddamn

notepad in this office, wouldn't ya?

Dragna, it was a mistake.

You know something?

I don't like surprises. I never did.

I never really enjoyed that

whole Pop Goes The Wease lthing.

I mean, don't get me wrong.

I appreciate the unexpected.

And, in fact, I'd say I'm a

connoisseur of the unexpected.

But I don't like surprises.

Do you understand the

distinction I'm making here?

Yes.

But I don't think you understand

what I'm saying. I don't...

Oh!

Eureka!

Dragna, I'm not a currency trader.

You asked me to sit

in front of the screen

because Melinda was

out with the flu.

Do you know how hard it is to get

a mole in the Bank of Japan?

Even the yakuza couldn't do it.

And you know why?

Because they're savages.

- I can't find a pen in this office.

- Everybody was yelling.

I got confused. I pressed the buy

button instead of the sell button.

Just before the Bank of

Japan flooded the market

with Yen to weaken their currency.

Hmm.

(GROANS)

(YELPS)

The name I just wrote,

go see that guy.

He's the best plastic

surgeon in New York.

And you could pick

any nose you want.

Your old one.

(PHONE RINGING)

Audrey Hepburn,

Beyonce, Barbra Streisand.

Whatever the hell you want.

My plane's here so I'm off.

Janet, no more surprises, okay?

(WHIMPERING)

(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

(C*CKS GUN)

(WHIMPERS)

Hi. Could I stay here for a while?

Please! Just until they leave.

Get up.

I said, "Get up"!

Please, I can't go out there.

- Get out.

- He's crazy. He'll kill me.

Are you deaf? Get out!

They're out of their minds.

Him and that midget.

Move. Move.

Please, mister,

I can't go out there.

They're going to f***ing kill me.

Please.

What if I told them

what's under your bed?

What did you say?

What if I told them

what's under your bed?

Did you look in that bag?

No, I did not.

Bullshit! What do you want?

I just want to stay here

until they leave, okay?

Who do you work for?

- I don't know what you're talking about.

- You think I'm stupid?

(PHONE RINGING)

(EXHALES)

Hello?

Hold on a minute.

Get up. Go in the bathroom.

Okay. Look, I'm going.

Hello?

DRAGNA:
So you're still in room 13?

Listen, Dragna, I just wasted

two more of your guys.

- Why do you think they were my guys?

- Feds on the payroll maybe.

They were the only wine

connoisseurs within 100 miles

and what were they doing up my ass?

Seems like you should be on Prozac.

No, I don't need Prozac.

Or AndroGel.

I need my goddamn money.

I need my goddamn

money right now.

I need what you owe me.

(HANGS UP)

Hello?

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