The Bachelors Page #6

Back home I'm used to

running into people

but here it always

gives me a surprise.

- Next.

- Excuse me.

Hi Palet, P-A-L-E-T.

- $10.

- Bill I'm sorry to

bother you like this but

I have a favor to ask.

You know Coach Keith,

big muscles small brain.

- Extra large coffee mug.

- Yes,

ridiculous that mug.

- More of a jug really.

- I think you could

actually bathe a cat in it.

Anyways he asked

me out for Friday

and I'm desperate for

a reason to say no

but I'm afraid I'm

running out of excuses.

- Oh so you want me

to be your excuse?

- Would you mind terribly?

- No that's, sure that's fine.

- Unless you're busy of course.

- No I'm not busy ever.

I generally eat in the evenings.

We could eat together.

- Yes we can eat together,

that sounds very nice.

- Great okay, I'll

see you tomorrow.

- Yes see you tomorrow.

- Alright number four.

- I have no idea

how to say that.

Do I have to say it like that?

- Like what?

- Like I'm an

effeminate French man

who's in love with himself?

- Oh that, yeah yeah, you do.

You have to say it like

you're an effeminate

French man who's in

love with himself.

- Then I've got the perfect

homework partner don't I?

- You okay?

- I'm fine.

- Why do you do that?

- Do what?

- Your arm.

- 'Cause I'm happy,

well adjusted,

and really excited

about my future.

Of course I'm a

little upset that

I didn't make

cheerleader this year but

there's always next

year and I feel like

if I work really really hard

it could definitely

happen for me.

- So you're telling me

nothing has happened at all.

- Nope.

- You do realize what

a fail this is right?

Not to mention how personally

disappointing this is for me.

You've been with this

girl for over 10 hours.

That's more time than Goober's

spent with a girl

his entire life.

- Hey Palet, tops on

your strategy man.

- What strategy?

- You know, start off

with the psycho whore

and work you way up from there.

Yeah I just hope you're

banging her by now.

Trust me it doesn't take half

the work you're putting in.

- That's the other thing

I hate about evolution.

Why does the dominant male

always have to be a dick?

What does persistence

dickishness

have to do with

furthering the species?

- Hey Mason.

- Break it

up, break it up.

Get off, break it up,

come on break it up.

That's it, that's it,

that's it, break it off.

- Easy easy, boys.

- What the hell's

the matter with you guys?

So which one of you Nobel

Lureates started this?

- That depends, sir ,do you

mean verbally or physically?

- Shut up Raffi!

I don't really care

who started this.

I already talked

to the other three.

And if there is so much

as glancing contact

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