The Angriest Man in Brooklyn Page #4

- Where's Aaron?

- She said it was extremely important.

Where's Aaron?

In the meeting.

148 and 65 Charles Street.

There is a six-month advance on the one

and a six-month delinquency on the other.

My long-lost brother.

What if you pick up

the pending violations on 148?

- Garbage.

- And boiler.

- I have a question.

- About the boiler?

No, I need some advice.

A client, he just found out

he has 90 minutes to live.

- What should I tell him to do?

- Henry, we really need to get back to this now.

- I know what I would do.

- What?

Cry.

For the first 20 minutes.

Then I'd go to that Thai massage place

on York and get a blowj*b.

I'd go to Temple Israel, pray a little,

make a nice big donation.

Can we get back to this now?

- Me, I think I'd kill someone.

- Why?

For the social good.

Some deeply evil schmuck.

- Like who?

- We live in Brooklyn. How hard could it be?

I got a joke. Hang on a second.

Man goes to see a doctor, and he's told

that he only has 10 hours to live.

It's a terrible shock.

What's he gonna do?

So he picks up the phone

and he calls his wife, and he says...

"Honey, I'm gonna take you to the Four

Seasons, the best restaurant in town...

and we're gonna eat everything

on the menu.

And then, we're gonna go

to the Rainbow Room...

where we're gonna dance all hours,

like we were young again.

And then, finally, home,

where we will make mad, passionate love...

till all hours of the night,

until, at last, at dawn...

I will die in your loving arms.

What do you think of that?"

And the wife says, "Easy for you.

You don't have to get up in the morning."

- Henry.

- What?

Tell your client to go home, make love

to his wife one last time and be happy.

In the end...

all we have is family.

Family?

You're right.

Family. Thanks.

You're not gonna be billing us

for this crap, are you?

Hey, hey, Henry, wait up!

- Where you going?

- Home.

You know, if you want out

of the meeting just say so...

or don't show up like you always do...

but this bullshit is really annoying.

Is this gonna take a long time?

You know, you're getting worse.

You know that, right,

that you're getting worse?

- I got a lot to do.

- In 90 minutes?

Less.

Family?

Yeah, family.

So, what, brothers don't count?

Because we got a lot of work to do.

I'm thinking, you know, immediate family.

Like Bette, Tommy.

What?

Well, uh, come on, Henry.

Bette and Tommy?

You and Bette have done nothing

but fight for two years. And Tommy?

What do you know about family, Aaron?

The only family you've got is a goldfish.

I know your family, your immediate family.

Reconciliation in 90 minutes?

Take the Thai blowj*bs.

- Ah! Okay.

- Yeah.

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