The Americanization of Emily Page #3

the poor beggars myself.

I don't want to feel tender

towards anyone.

Especially soldiers.

I've lost a husband, a father,

and a brother in this war.

When my husband died,

I almost went insane.

I take these things badly.

I fall in love too easily,

and I shatter too easily.

I don't want any more doomed men.

Do come tonight, love.

These men aren't doomed.

They'll never see any of the shooting,

that's for sure.

We'll have a few laughs.

I've never seen anyone needing

a few laughs as much as you do.

- Very nice crystal, Tom. Danish?

- Yes, sir.

I don't much care for the centerpiece.

You can take that out.

Of course.

- Italian. Very lovely.

- Thank you, sir.

Cocktails at 5:
30, and heavy on the gin.

Dinner at 6:
00 promptly.

Once you've cleared away...

- I'll manage from there.

- Very good, sir.

You're not limping, Commander.

It's the Arabian Nights.

Do you have chests of rubies

in the bathroom?

Just perfumes and liquor.

I've heard about this room, Commander.

All the girls talk about it,

but I just couldn't believe it.

Bergdorf Goodman, Saks Fifth Avenue,

Lord & Taylor.

Sheila's right.

It is the swankiest shop in town.

Good heavens! Arpege perfume.

How did you manage Arpege

with the Germans in Paris?

There are Germans in Paris, aren't there?

There is a war on, I think.

You Americans must have heard

something about it, I'm sure.

Just pick out a dress, honey,

and be back at 5:30.

You American-haters bore me to tears,

Miss Barham.

I've dealt with Europeans all my life.

I know all about us parvenus

from the States...

who come over here and race around

your old cathedral towns...

with our cameras and Coca-Cola bottles.

Brawl in your pubs, paw your women,

and act like we own the world.

We over tip. We talk too loud.

We think we can buy anything

with a Hershey bar.

I've had Germans and Italians tell me...

how politically ingenuous we are.

And perhaps so.

But we haven't managed a Hitler

or Mussolini yet.

I've had Frenchmen call me a savage...

because I only took half an hour for lunch.

The only reason the French

take two hours for lunch...

is because the service

in their restaurants is lousy.

The most tedious lot are you British.

We crass Americans didn't introduce war

into your little island.

This war, Miss Barham, to which

we Americans are so insensitive...

is the result of 2,000 years

of European greed...

barbarism, superstition, and stupidity.

Don't blame it on our Coca-Cola bottles.

Europe was a going brothel

long before we came to town.

Dear me. What an outburst.

So lay off, Mrs. Miniver.

If you don't like Hershey bars,

don't take them.

Pick yourself a frock, or get out.

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