The Adderall Diaries Page #4

- Think about it.

Oh, like dyslexic.

I played bass,

which is ridiculous

because I can't even hear

bass notes. But whatever.

There's only like

four of them, so.

And then we had this whole bit

where I sprayed hairspray

into Mattie's lighter.

It was very cool.

Wish I could have seen you then.

A little delinquent, yeah?

So why'd you break up?

- Lana:
The band?

- Uh-hmm.

I guess I ultimately figured out

it was less fun to have bad sex

in the back of a Van sober.

What kind of sober?

Not wanting to be

my stepfather kind.

Do you mind if I ask

what he did to you?

It's in the past.

I'm not looking

over my shoulder.

I know, but what happens

to us makes us who we are.

No. F*** them!

That has nothing to do

with who I am.

He has nothing to do

with who I became.

That doesn't mean

you need to bury it.

I'm not burying anything.

I've just got some souvenirs.

Stephen:

I think you're perfect.

I wouldn't want you

any other way.

Hey!

Jesus!

Where the hell have you been?

Oh... uh, I just...

I needed a little time,

that's all.

Come in.

What are you doing?

Oh, it's this thing

Roger turned me on to.

You heat it up to 209 degrees.

No, I mean, what in the actual

f*** are we gonna do?

I don't know.

Uh, I never really had a plan

for when life

shits the bed like this.

Do you have any sense

of how many phone calls

and hysterical emails

I've gotten?

As a matter of fact, I do.

I changed my number.

Thanks for letting me know.

So here's where we are.

Random house is backing out

of the short story collection.

Columbia wants to buy you out

of your teaching contract.

- F*** them.

- Essentially, everyone

is on the verge of suing us.

The penguin thing...

That's over, too?

Not yet.

I have managed

to talk them down,

but you have got to

work with me here.

Okay. All right.

Just tell me how.

Okay. First of all,

you have to tell me the truth.

All right. Easy.

Everything.

Look, yeah, my dad

isn't dead, obviously.

But that's it.

So why does Neil say that

you never lived in a group home?

Why does he say

you were never homeless?

Why? Because...

My dad's crazy, that's why!

I don't know. I've been trying

to figure it out my whole life.

He just... he doesn't want me

to be happy.

Do you have proof?

What kind of proof?

I don't know.

Records.

I mean, not on me.

Find some... quick!

I believe you,

but you've gotta cover your ass.

Okay.

Next, you've got to write

a press release statement

like now.

Next, penguin has gotta

have some pages asap!

Unless you start producing,

this all goes away.

Kill yourself,

you f***in' a**hole.

- Whad'ya got?

- I already paid for that.

Neil:

Don't be stupid.

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