That Sinking Feeling Page #4

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- I'm a girl.

- That's it. Try, Wal. It helps.

- I'm a girl.

I'm a girl. I'm a girl.

- Wal, try it.

- No, I'm no' sayin' that.

- Wal!

- No!

- I'm a girl.

- You're an eejit!

I'm a girl. I'm a girl.

- You like this, don't you?

- No... Aye, I'm a girl. I'm a girl.

- Try it.

- No!

I'm a girl. I'm a girl.

- Wal, try it.

- No!

Oh, no.

It's a three-week high-protein diet.

It was in last week's Vanity Fair.

Is anything worrying you just now?

Are you quite happy?

Well, there was one or two things

I wanted to talk to you about.

Would you wear a brown skirt

with a red top,

say, a really deep red, kind of maroon

with maybe grey tights?

Vic, what's wrong with you?

Aye, right, brown tights.

It needs to be brown tights. Brown tights.

What's up?

Look, Mary, it's good.

It'll bring us closer together.

We'll be able to share things,

talk about the same things,

make-up and frocks.

- We can be real buddies.

- I've got girlfriends for that!

It's meant to be different with you.

Look, I know what I'm doing.

It's gonnae work out fine.

Tell me. Talk to me about it.

I'm just interested in girls.

I mean, I like them.

You don't have to BE one!

Of course not. I'm a boy.

I'm a boy. I'm a boy!

- I want my lipstick back.

- Eh?

The one you took from my bag last night

when we were saying 'good night'.

I'm still a good kisser, eh?

- What's goin' on, Vic? Eh?

- I'll tell you soon.

- Tell me now!

- Soon!

What do you fancy?

I've set my heart on ten days

in Barbados.

Very nice.

It's a four-star hotel,

full board, return flight for, eh...

...just over four sinks. It's no' bad.

Ah, but look,

if you put in an extra sink,

you can get the African safari

with five nights in Nairobi.

I don't know.

It's awful difficult to choose.

Here, what are you gonnae dae

wi' your sinks?

I've got my eye on a lovely, wee CSL.

- Oh.

- A guitar, you know?

- An amplifier box.

- Mm-hm.

A wah-wah pedal, you know? Wah-wah!

I've even got the plectrum.

Show me.

Aye, very good.

Huh! Give us a tune.

Da-na-na, dan-dan-dan

I don't want a holiday in the sun

I wanna go to the new Belsen...

I'm a boy. I'm a boy.

I'm a boy!

Does it involve other boys?

No, of course not.

It's just me.

How's Vicky?

I've got my sister's shoes.

She won't miss them at the weekend.

Not now, Alec. Later.

But it's about the brassiere.

I could only get a 36B.

There's hunners o' room in the straps.

It'll fit you OK.

Have you got the lipstick for Wal?

You said you'd get it for him.

He cannae get lipstick.

You said you'd get it.

You away, Mary?

What about thae tights?

Did you get the red ones?

- What about the van?

- Bobby's fine.

Two days' notice is all he needs.

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