Ten Tiny Love Stories Page #3

called Felipe.

Elias is a friend

from Mexico

with a heart the size

of Mexico City.

His wife Ann, said,

"Elias is

all good intentions,

but there's no guarantee

his friends aren't creeps.

And they come from countries where

women aren't as confused as we are,

so they can smell a desperate

American woman a kilometer away."

She cracks me up.

So Felipe is a cameraman

who shoots commercials.

And before we even spoke

on the phone,

he sends me this card asking me

if it was convenient

to call me, let's say

at 7:
00 on Tuesday.

And I'm thinking,

"Why has Elias set me up

with this gay guy

from South America?"

And he assures me the guy isn't gay,

but merely polite.

So I send him a card

in the mail,

and I say, " Tuesday at 7:00

will be fine. Thank you very much."

So, 7:
00 on Tuesday comes along

and... it's 8:
30,

and the man hasn't called.

For a moment,

I'm thinking I'd call him,

but I realize I don't have

his phone number.

I could have gotten it

from Elias,

but I didn't want him

to think I'd been stood up.

He never called.

I was disappointed

but once I let it go,

it didn't crush me...

which is my specialty,

being crushed by a**holes.

So two days later, at 9:00 am,

the phone rings, and it's him.

And he asks,

"Am I waking you up?"

and am I by myself?

Am I by myself?

Then he tells me

this story

about how he was shooting a commercial

the day before he should have called,

and they shot until 10:00

the following day,

and he slept for 20 hours,

blablabla...

and can I

ever forgive him...

So he wants to go out,

to meet that same night.

And he offers to pick me up.

I say I'd prefer to meet him.

So we agreed to meet

at Jerry's Deli at 7:30.

So I ask how I'll recognize him,

and he asks what I look like.

I say, "You go first."

So he says he has sandy hair,

and he's tall,

and that some people confuse him

for a young Keith Carradine.

Do you? I don't remember what

a young Keith Carradine looks like.

So he asks me

what I look like. I say,

"Don't worry about it.

I'll find you."

Then I pretend that I'm late for work

so I can get off the phone.

But before that, he says

he plans to pay for dinner,

that in Argentina

it's a custom and do I mind,

and that in this country,

it's very confusing

and he wants

to clear that up front.

I say, "All right."

But after

I get off the phone,

I feel bad, because

I feel like I'd been had.

He's polite in a way

that makes you feel cheap.

So now,

I'm on the defensive

and I'm mad at myself,

and I don't know why.

Anyway, I rent two videos of

Keith Carradine, and I like what I see,

but I have to keep reminding

myself while watching

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes