Telstar: The Joe Meek Story Page #4

Oh, I'd love to meet him!

You'll have all the big stars passing through here, Violet.

Why don't you pop downstairs, make a nice pot of tea and the Major can introduce you when he gets here?

- I'll tell him you're sorry.

- Who?

- Mr Brolin, your neighbour.

- Tell him to shove his bin lids...

- Yes, splendid. A pot of tea. After you, Violet.

All right, Fred. Pick us up at about three.

Are you sure, sir? No offence, sir.

- It seems like a right shithole.

- Yeah, let's make it 1:30.

- How are we doing, boys?

- Nearly there.

Right, I want to set up the mics downstairs, I want to be ready to go when I get back.

He's f***ing barmy!

- You playing that old Joanna?

- Yes. Is it in tune?

Doubt it.

What's in here?

Don't go in there. He'll go doolally.

- Why?

- Because he's bonkers.

Because it's full of our Joe's secret, magic echo doodahs.

He's a loon.

No, no, he's not mad. He's one of your eccentrics, with his gadgets and witchcraft. He's harmless enough.

- Load of bollocks.

- Yes, but he did predict the date. February 3rd.

The day of Buddy Holly's tragic accident. And warned him.

Yeah, he's a proper Nostra-f***ing-damus.

- Right date, wrong year.

- F***ing loon. Load of bollocks.

Well, it is easy to mock.

There are many things we do not understand. Not on this plane.

My involvement in spiritualism is quite serious.

I've been attending a weekly psychic circle for some months, now, in the hope of becoming a medium.

In fact, the song we are recording today,

came to me from the other side.

From beyond.

F***ing hell.

Here. You're studying to be a medium, Clem's studying to be a large.

Right, are we in tune and ready? John is downstairs, being talked at by Mrs Shenton.

- People forget that you're an actor, a trained actor, you know.

- Yes.

I was in drama school for three years. I can play all sorts of, you know...

- I was playing a Cockney...

- Really?

- Yeah, I can...

Right. I want to do a sound check. A bit of noise from everyone for level.

INSTRUMENTS ALL PLAY AT ONCE

Good. Just hit a bit harder. That's good.

- SHOUTING:

- All right, all right, all right!

Right, I want that moved over there, and no-one touch the mics.

Right, you heard the man, Biggles is arriving 0500 hours!

ALL SHOUT IN POSH VOICES

Get that out your systems for a start, cos I'm having none of it.

- Roger, Roger Wing Commander!

- I f***ing mean it!

Tone deaf actors,

midgets, bodybuilders.

It's a f***ing pantomime. What next? Singing f***ing postman?

Will you shut your moaning, you wet bastard.

- You're being paid, ain't you?

- Hi, guys. John Leyton.

- You must be the band.

- Sharp as a pin.

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