Tape 407

Year:
2012
13 Views


Beep!

[Static hissing]

Beep!

Here we are on the way home.

We're going to the airplane.

Whoo, home.

Do you really have

to tape everything?

Yes, I do.

Okay, um, well, maybe you

should buy your own camera.

Um, why would I do that

if I could just use yours?

Right, like you do

all the rest of my stuff.

Exactly.

- Hello, welcome aboard.

- Hi.

Hello, welcome aboard.

- Hello.

- Hello, thanks.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Hello, ma'am.

- Nice necklace.

- Thank you.

- I'm coming, Jess.

- You're holding up the line.

You're really

embarrassing me right now.

- Just keep walking...

- Hi.

And pretend like

you don't know me.

- Hi, guys.

- Hi.

Do you know where

our seats are?

Hi, ma'am.

Um, second to last.

Thanks.

- Hello.

- Hi.

Right here.

Hi.

Um, yeah, just a second.

- I think we're down here.

- Here we go.

Do you want...

Yeah, go ahead,

take the window.

[Light instrumental music]

# #

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

Ooh, I love your bag!

Oh, thank you.

Sit down.

Hang on; that guy

has a cool green beanie.

That girl is taking forever

just to put her bags up.

Must be heavy.

Oh, that guy helped her.

Trish, why don't you

buckle up?

- What?

- [Whispers] Buckle up.

Not yet.

She's filming right now.

Hi.

Hi. Nice camera.

Thank you.

"Nice camera."

[Chuckles]

Bald guy.

- Uh-oh.

- He doesn't...

[whispering]

He looks a little drunk.

Yeah, I don't think

he looks happy.

[Indistinct chatter]

Hi.

That boy looks nice.

Are you nervous flying?

I am, yes.

Why?

Um, I don't know.

Dying... doesn't really

sound good to me.

Yeah, but I heard once

that it's safer to fly...

...than it is to drive in a car,

rather than flying in a plane.

Really?

Yeah, it's true.

I like to stay on the ground.

Me too.

I like driving.

- She'll be fine.

- It's better.

You'll be fine, right?

Yeah.

As soon as we start taxiing,

I am gonna need you

to turn the camera off.

You can turn it back on

once we're in flight.

Okay.

No, no, no, don't tell her

to turn it back on.

It has to stay off.

And if I can also just

have you move your bags, please.

- Oh, sorry.

- Push 'em all the way forward.

Thank you.

We are currently third

in line for takeoff...

...and are expected

to be in the air...

...in approximately

seven minutes' time.

We ask that you please fasten...

Please give me my camera back.

Hi, sir.

Can you please

give me my camera back?

I'm really sorry.

- Hello.

- Do you like to be on camera?

Can you please

give me my camera back?

Or does this make you

uncomfortable?

I would prefer not.

He doesn't want to be...

Okay, I have

to put this away now.

- Enjoy the flight.

- Jess.

What's that?

Oh, my gosh,

give it back.

Angry bald guy's getting mad

at the flight attendant.

Absolutely,

as soon as we start.

- It will calm me down.

- Are you prescribed medication?

He needs a drink

to calm him down.

I'm afraid I cannot

offer you a drink...

...until ten minutes

after flight.

What I can do is, I can offer

you a seat further up...

...with less people around if that

makes you more comfortable.

I don't want another seat;

I just want a drink.

That should take care

of everything.

[Sing-song]

Alcoholic.

Shh!

I think for $500 that I paid,

plus $25 for the extra bag,

it wouldn't kill you to offer me

a little service.

Sir, I need you

to keep your voice down.

My voice is down.

- No, it is not, sir.

- No, it's not.

You don't want

to hear my voice raised.

[Whispers] Shut up!

If you would like

to raise your voice,

you're welcome

to step off the plane.

I think that

this airline is rotten.

[Plane engine revving]

Then do not fly

with us again.

If you could please

put your seat up.

I need you to put your seat up.

Crap, put it away.

Put it away!

[Girls laugh]

Turn it off.

Turn it off.

Yes!

We're finally moving, Jess.

Okay, please get that thing

out of my face...

...and put it away

like I asked you to.

Ugh, fun spoiler.

I know.

Put it away, please.

Fine.

Ladies and gentlemen,

on behalf of the crew,

I ask that you please

direct your attention...

...to the flight attendant...

...as we review

the emergency procedures.

There are six emergency exits

on this aircraft.

Take a minute

to locate the exit...

Are you paying attention

to the exit rows?

Are you paying

attention?

Are we on an exit row?

To fasten your seatbelt,

place the metal clip...

Jess, I don't think

you could lift 50 pounds.

Shh.

Make sure you know

how to undo it...

...so you don't get stuck

in the plane.

The "fasten seatbelt" sign

may be turned off.

However, for your safety,

we require...

Once again, folks, we're sorry

for that long delay.

Ground crew is just...

Are you getting

scared now?

We're gonna take off soon.

So we should be out

of here in just a few minutes.

A few minutes?

We've already been here

for an hour.

It's getting dark.

That you keep

your seatbelt fastened...

...at all times

while seated.

Cellular phones may be only

used while the aircraft...

...is at the gate

and the boarding door is open.

All cellular phones

must be turned off and stowed...

...when the boarding door

is closed.

- Uh-oh, she's seen me.

- I told you.

Yes, takeoff.

- My favorite part.

- Finally.

It's just like

a roller coaster.

I love it.

Jess hates it.

Getting a little nervous there?

Yeah.

Well, why are you?

Because you fly all the time.

Yeah, but I...

I don't like flying.

Just do us all a favor

and not throw up again, okay?

[Plane engine accelerating]

Oh, yeah.

[Plane engine roaring]

It's okay.

We're almost in the air.

Well, New York was a blast,

but now it's time to head home

and start doing homework again.

Yikes.

[Both laugh]

Well, bye, New York.

Hello, L.A.

- Trish.

- Sorry.

Trish, come on.

I was just

looking out the window.

Can you see anything?

Uh, no it's kind of cloudy.

I mean,

I see my book in my hand,

but I can't see

anything else outside.

- Bummer.

- Sorry.

That's 'cause

you need more light.

What?

Yeah, you need more light.

Cool, do you have,

like, a flashlight?

No... I have one of these.

Well...

Check this out.

All right.

Wait for it. Wait for it.

And the Lord said,

"Let there be light."

- Wow.

- That's so bright.

- That's awesome.

- It's fully adjustable.

It's great

for situations like this.

Cool.

That's fantastic.

Yeah.

So why do you have,

like, all those bags and stuff...

...full of cameras?

And why do you have

a fancy light for your camera?

Well, it's because

I'm a camera thief.

I steal cameras, and I sell them

on the black market.

- Really?

- No, of course not. No.

You believed that?

- No.

- Yes, you did.

I didn't believe that.

I think she believed it.

Yes, you did.

[Laughs]

Yeah.

No, I'm a journalist.

I'm a photojournalist.

Cool.

So you've been, like,

all over the world?

I have. I have.

I've been to such beautiful,

scenic places like, uh, well,

uh, Afghanistan, Iraq,

recently Libya.

Wait, Afghanistan

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Robert Shepyer

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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