Sydney White

(# "New Day's Dawning" by Saturn Missiles)

For Syd.

(man) Syd.

Yo, sign Syd's card.

It's for Syd.

Hey, Syd!

Got a little something for you.

What's this?

Just a little something.

Aw.

Guys.

From all of us.

(gasps) Is it a Stanley 22 ounce

AntiVibe framing hammer?

No.

It's better than that.

It's actually something you could use at college.

Come on.

(gasps)

(laughs)

I love it.

Thanks, you guys.

Just don't spend all your time on it, OK?

I know that you have a scholarship to keep up with,

but promise us all you'll raise hell every now and then!

(all) Yeah!

Don't worry, Dad.

I'll smile for my mug shot.

Hm.

I'm gonna miss everybody.

Stu.

Be careful with the nail gun.

Big Ron.

Hold me, please.

Oh, all right!

Good hug!

Back to work.

OK, you're crushing me.

Ow, my collarbone.

(Sydney) Know how people joke about being raised

by wolves? I was raised by construction workers.

What have you got?

Peanut butter. It's so good.

(man wolf whistles)

(man #2) Hey, mamacita!

(wolf whistles)

(wolf whistles)

Yeah!

(Sydney) I was only nine when my mom died,

which means my formative years

were left up to my dad.

Being a plumber did give him

a certain unique perspective...

Now, these up here are your, um...

your fallipian...

That's not right. Uh...

Fallopian. These are your...

Let's just call them your lady tubes.

All right?

Every month, you...

lay an egg.

Like a chicken.

My dad always did his best.

Understand?

But sometimes, a girl just needs her mom.

(Dad) Sydney!

Time to get a move on, sweetheart!

Wow.

If your mom was here,

she'd know exactly what to say.

She'd be so excited you're going to her school,

gonna join her sorority.

I'm not in yet, Dad.

Girl, you're gonna fit into that place like a...

overflow tube in a pressure tank.

Come on, Dad.

We said no mushy stuff.

Right.

No mushy stuff.

(bus starts up)

Come here.

I love you, Dad.

(Mom) Dear Sydney,

I love you so much.

I'm so sorry I'm not there to see you off to college.

But since I can't be,

I've put some of my favorite memories in this box.

Live every moment, Sydney.

Grab every opportunity.

And have fun in everything you do.

The friends you meet in college

will be your friends for life.

Perhaps you'll fill this box with your own memories

to pass on to your daughter someday.

And know that though I can't be there with you now,

I'm always right by your side every step of the way.

(# "Warning" by Lil' Wendy)

Still the fairest of them all.

(# "Fortress" by Pinback)

Well, hello there.

Oh, hi. I didn't even know anyone was in here.

Oh, that's OK.

People sometimes don't see me. I'm Dinky.

Oh, no, you're not.

No, silly, that's my name.

Oh, Dinky?

That's your real name?

Of course not.

My real name's Demetria Rosemead.

"Dinky" it is.

Hi, I'm Sydney White.

Sydney White?

The other Kappa legacy?

Daughter of Paul White and Deborah Lee,

Kappa pledge class 1 980?

Yeah.

(gasps)

I'm sorry,

I feel bad I didn't order your background check.

I'm the other Kappa legacy!

Oh, my gosh! This is just so exciting! I should've

known they would've roomed us together for rush.

Don't get too comfortable.

We're gonna move to the Kappa house!

Ah! We're gonna be sisters!

(squeals)

Yay.

We're jumping now.

I've been waiting to become a Kappa since I can

remember. All the women in my family were Kappas.

Look.

My momma gave me her when I was five.

She even has a little pledge pin.

She sure does.

Does she come with

a mini Kappa dream house?

Oh... Oh, I wish.

Now, what were you thinking

about wearing to the first rush party?

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