Swinging Safari Page #3

Whale!

I AM wailing!

And thanks to a full moon

and the king tide that followed,

I finally found one.

Ow, ow, ow!

Go get the camera!

Come here! Look at the whale!

Look at this!

Come check it out!

The great blue whale.

This is bigger than Ben-Hur.

Go! Come on! Let's go, go, go! Go!

Ow, ow, ow, ow! Ow!

Dad, grab the zoom. This is humungous.

Wh...?

Residents of this sleepy seaside suburb

awoke to a new, blue tourist attraction.

Wallaroo locals are flocking

to see the dead whale,

much to the delight of

schoolkids, seniors

and salivating seagulls.

It's a whale!

And it's f***ing on the beach!

Not f***ing on the

beach, on the f***ing beach.

And stop f***in' swearing!

You're not bringing a whale

home. I'll tell you right now.

This mullet has ruined

a perfectly good day!

Ruined? Nah.

I reckon he's gonna put

Wallaroo on the map.

He's a real live dead whale.

Him? I didn't see a penis.

- I think he's a ripper!

- I think he's revolting!

And I think I'd better get a photo.

OK, everybody, looking at the sun.

Come on, come on!

Big smiles. That's it.

Everyone ready? One, two, three, and...

Hang on a minute.

Come on, mate!

Looking up at the sun!

One, two, three, and...

Hang on a minute.

- Come on, Dad!

- Here we go.

One... two... three...

Brilliant.

Ooh, clean bowled him!

Brilliant. Bowled by Lillee.

Would you like an ice-cream,

little girl?

I'm not allowed to talk to strangers.

Have a look at the whale!

Thank Christ we got a park, darl.

Melly, come see. This is ginormous.

I told you to stay in the car

or you'd cop a hiding, young lady!

Oh, don't be a bully, darling.

And on behalf of the Wallaroo Council,

I'd like to welcome our strange visitor

and congratulate him

on his fine choice

of holiday destination.

You got loose change in your Speedos?

Why not invest in a Funk and Wagnalls...

She's crying.

Yeah, well, of course, she's

crying, you idiot. She's dead!

- Hey, cork it, Liam!

- Oh, yeah?

What are you gonna do?

Are you gonna film me to death?

You lightweight hammerhead!

Looks like you might have

found yourself a plot, tiger.

It's got a beginning, a middle

and an end.

Oh!

Bloody hell.

Oh, I think I'm gonna hurl!

This is revolting!

Maybe we should take

a raincheck on tonight.

What? No.

We've been planning this

evening for months.

I'm not giving it up for... Flipper.

- No.

- No.

Righto! Dinner - Chateau Jones.

Got a little surprise for you boys!

Oh, Christ, we'd better beat

the traffic! Come on! Let's go!

- Quit your bloody whingeing!

- Ow, ow!

- I'm not going tonight.

- It's just a dinner party!

Get us to the bank!

We're gonna starve like Africans.

Righto, righto. Enough.

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