Swing State Page #3

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-And arrested probably.

Your gonna say something and

it will offend a whole bunch

of people like Donald Trump.

You're out of control.

Let's do this.

[recorded voice] Get ready for

two hours with the mic

from the right,

the sage from Seattle,

Mr. Tom Fleischman.

Top of the morning, folks.

I'm Charles Fern.

Visiting from out of town,

missing my home where

my heart is.

And in the world,

there is a lot of things

in the world.

A lot of things

in the world are happening.

And lots going on right now.

Uh, and, and...

Actually right now, number

one album in America

today, guys,

is none other than gangster

rapper, Ridicule.

And I tell you what,

this album is an outrage.

It is an outrage, all right.

This thing is vulgar,

it is virulent

and at times it is vexing.

Let me read you

some of his "poetry."

"N-word what, N-word what,

N-word, please,

I got your p-word in my face

and my d-word up your sleeve."

I tell you what, this is enough.

I'm calling for a boycott.

Enough is enough

over here, folks.

Let's tell these people

what they really need to hear.

Let's send a message over

to Periscope records.

We're not gonna take it,

no, we're not gonna take it.

No, we're not gonna

take it anymore.

My producer Rasputin over

here is telling me that we have

some callers calling in.

Uh, Tiffany from Mount Rainer,

state your case please.

Hi. I totally agree with

everything that you are

saying, Charles.

My four year old boy called

his sister a "hoe" yesterday.

Whoa, a hoe. Wash that potty

mouth out with Pine Sol.

Yes, well we found out his

friends at school, they are

playing that rapper music.

Ah, Tiffany, well it's all part

of the coarsening of the society

by if it feels good,

let's mash it up and stuff

it into a syringe and just

stick it right up my urethra

liberal mentality.

I love your boycott idea.

Wow. You know what you are

a wonderful, wonderful

Republican MILF.

Mothers of Inspirational

Liberty and Freedom.

You're a fine MILF indeed.

Thank you, Tiffany.

Have a wonderful day.

Well, ladies and gentlemen,

our country has been hijacked.

It has been overtaken

and overrun,

but, we will not let them

pull the wool over

our eyes anymore, will we?

No, we will not

get fooled again.

But, now a word

from our sponsor.

Glorious way to start your day,

a delectable assortment

of Doughglobe donut holes.

Tasty, tasty to stuff

your face-y, face-y.

Take the MO King exit off

the five and it's right there

on Hudson.

Tell him Fern sent ya.

[guitar music playing]

Think with the check and that,

you could definitely pitch in.

What?

Are you suggesting that we sell

my grandfather's Martin guitar?

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