Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street Page #4

Was it quick, sir?

Did it in a tick, sir?

Just like an elixir ought to do!

How about a bottle, mister?

Only costs a penny, guaranteed.

Does Pirelli's stimulate

the growth, sir?

You can have my oath, sir,

'Tis unique.

Rub a minute,

Stimulatin', i'n it?

Soon you'll have to thin it once a week!

Pardon me, ma'am, what's that awful stench?

- Are we standing near an open trench?

- Must be standing near an open trench!

Buy Pirelli's Miracle Elixir:

Anything wot's slick,

sir, soon sprouts curls.

Try Pirelli's!

When they see how thick, sir,

you can have your

pick, sir, of the girls!

Want to buy a bottle, missus?

What is this?

- What is this?

Smells like piss.

- Smells like - phew!

Looks like piss.

This is piss.

Piss with ink.

Let Pirelli's activate your roots, sir-

Keep it off your boots, sir-

Eats right through.

Yes, get Pirellis! Usable in all ways.

Ladies seem to love it-

Flies do too!

I am Adolfo Pirelli,

Da king of da barbers, da barber of kings,

E buon giorno, good day,

I blow you a kiss!

And I, da so-famous Pirelli,

I wish-a to know-a

Who has-a da nerve-a to say

My elixir is piss!

Who says this?!

I do.

I am Mr. Sweeney Todd of Fleet Street.

I have opened a bottle of Pirelli's elixir,

and I say to you that it is

nothing but an arrant fraud, concocted

from piss and ink.

And furthermore, "signor" -

I have serviced no kings, yet

I wager I can shave a cheek

with ten times more dexterity

that any street mountebank.

You see these razors?

I lay them against five

pounds you are no match, sir.

Either accept my challenge

or reveal yourself as a sham.

You hear zis foolish man?

Now, please, you will see

how he will regret his folly!

Toby!

Who's for a free shave?

Will Beadle Bamford be the judge?

Glad, as always, to oblige

my friends and neighbors.

Ready?

Ready!

Ready.

The fastest, smoothest

shave is the winner.

Now, signorini, signori,

We mix-a da lather

But first-a you gather around,

signorini, signori,

you looking a man who have had-a

da glory to shave-a da Pope.

Mr.

Sweeney-so-smart-

Oh, I beg-a you pardon - 'll call

me a lie, was-a only a cardinal-

Nope!

It was-a da Pope!

To shave-a da face,

To cut-a da hair,

Require da grace

Require da flair,

For if-a you slip,

You nick da skin,

You clip-a da chin, You rip-a

da lip a bit Beyond-a repair!

To shave-a da face Or even a part

Without it-a smart Require da heart.

Not just-a da flash, it take-a panache,

it take-a da passion for da art.

To shave-a da face,

To trim-a da beard,

To make-a da bristle

clean like a whistle,

Dis is from early infancy

da talent give to me by God!

It take-a da skill,

It take-a da brains,

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