Support Your Local Sheriff! Page #7

to clean up this town?

- I guess that's about it.

- All by ourselves?

Not that we'd turn down any help

cheerfully offered.

Nobody is gonna offer no help,

cheerful or any other way.

I think you're probably right, Jake.

How much money

am I makin' in this job?

Well, let's see. I'm the sheriff

and they're paying me $150 a month.

Shall we put your salary

at about half that, plus room and board?

Plus all the ammunition you need

to carry on the job.

Of course, I haven't checked out your

employment with the mayor and council.

- You mean they might turn me down?

- I don't think so.

No, I think their attitude is going to be,

if we found somebody cra... willing

to take the job, don't rock the boat.

You can bet

that's what their attitude's gonna be.

Ever been sheriff of a town

that needed cleanin' up?

- No, I haven't.

- Ever been the sheriff of any town?

No, not that either. But the mayor seemed

to think my qualifications suited the job.

He'd have thought that if you was blind

in both eyes and crippled in both legs.

I think you've got

the situation pegged, Jake.

- Want me to warm some coffee?

- I never turn down a cup of coffee.

- How long you been out west?

- About four years.

- From where?

- East.

- I was raised up in Indiana.

- Well, that could be either good or bad.

Them four years you been out west,

what you been doin'?

Well, mostly,

I've been on my way to Australia.

- For four years?

- It takes some people longer than others.

- What's in Australia?

- A lot of things. You'd be surprised.

- Any other questions, Jake?

- Oh, I... There's no...

No, it's all right. If there's anything I want,

it's a deputy who's at ease in his mind.

Well, you ain't got one.

I don't know where you're gonna

get one in this town, either.

- Why Australia?

- You'd know if you'd read a book about it.

- I ain't never even seen a book about it.

- They got one in the library in Chicago.

If you're ever up that way,

take a look at it.

They got pictures, everything.

They got little people over there, like that.

They got a stick that when they

throw it away, it comes back at 'em.

They got some animals there...

They got one that hops. It'll box you.

It carries things in its tummy.

When you shot

that friend of Joe's in the back,

you fired two shots.

I figure they went in, oh...

about that far apart, huh?

Pretty sloppy shootin', Jake.

I was in a hurry to save your life.

I wasn't trying to group my shots.

If you'd been five feet further away,

you'd have missed him entirely.

I'd say that was

a pretty pitiful showing, Jake.

- You see that bottom nail on the right?

- Yeah.

- That's weird.

- What's weird?

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