Sugar and Spice Page #6

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She continues as we PULL BACK to REVEAL we're:

INT. DIANE'S BATHROOM - THAT NIGHT

It's an early 80's dream. The squad sits on their sleeping

bags, in a circle, on the floor. They're painting nails,

giving henna tattoos, streaking hair, etc. Hannah has a

OUIJA BOARD in front of her, hands resting on the "MESSAGE

INDICATOR." Diane has her eyes closed.

DIANE:

... Ja-ck B-ar-t-le-tt... Is Jack

Bartlett interested in me?

HANNAH:

(nervous)

I-I'm sorry - can someone else please

run the Ouija board? It's creepy, it's

wrong and it goes against the teachings

of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

KANSAS:

Hannah, in order to get real answers

from the netherworld, you've gotta have

a Christian virgin run the board. Your

kind is pure of heart - the devil won't

dick with you.

HANNAH:

(looking down)

Well technically, I don't think I'm a

virgin anymore.

Squad REACTS!

HANNAH (CONT'D)

Yeah. This summer at church camp? I'm

pretty sure I had, y'know, an orgasm.

KANSAS:

Hold up, hold up. Any sentence that

starts with "at church camp" ain't

leading to the big "O."

CLEO:

That's not true. Those pictures of

Christ - all sweaty and bare-chested on

the cross - always kinda made me hot.

Squad just stares at her.

KANSAS:

Anyway, last time I checked, you still

had to have sex to have an orgasm. And

I know she ain't seen the lord on all

fours - so I'm just saying.

DIANE:

Well, I want to know what happened --

HANNAH:

Okay, one night, around sunset, I went

horseback riding with the nuns. They

went every night. And, well, we're

trotting pretty hard, y'know? The hard

leather saddle, pounding between my

legs...

CLEO:

I just got a little squishy...

HANNAH:

All of a sudden, I feel... I feel... I

feel just super alive...

(whispering)

"down there." I swear I thought it was

the second coming.

KANSAS:

Nope. Sounds more like the first.

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