Suck It Up

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1

I never know

how to answer that question.

Uh, let me think. I...

I'm always on time.

I'm... I'm very organized

with my life like that.

I'm...

I plan well.

I'm a planner.

I'm also very flexible, though.

Flexible. And, um...

I think that

my greatest strength, though,

is that I anticipate

future problems

and I prepare for them.

Oh, my god.

I am-- I'm so sorry.

- It's okay.

Mmm-- I thought

i turned it off.

You can take that.

No...

It's okay, um...

Where were we?

You have one new voice message.

Faye.

Argene will be here

for the second interviews.

Are you free for the 29th?

Really? I mean-- yes.

Yes. I will be here.

Thank you.

Hi, sweetie, it's Dina.

I'm sorry I'm calling, but...

It's Ronnie.

She's getting worse.

Her drinking's out of control,

and today she had an accident

with the lawn mower.

I don't know if you can

make the drive, but...

We don't know how to help her.

She stood still,

he spun around,

he took a spill,

she fell down.

--It's open.

In the kitchen.

Faye! Hi!

How was the drive?

You made good time.

Yeah. No traffic.

You just get off work?

-No.

-I just can't

get enough of this uniform.

Uh,

that was on the porch,

I did not make it.

Thank god for that.

Ronnie's gonna be

really glad to see you.

I know it's been hard to

keep in touch. You being away.

But best friends

forever, right?

Where is our little angel?

Follow the bread crumbs.

When Dina said you had

an accident with

the lawn mower,

I figured you'd

pissed yourself...

While lawn mowing.

What are

you doing here?

Besides just stealing

my undies, perv.

Dina's worried about you.

She thinks you've become

a danger to yourself, but...

Now that I've seen you,

I've no idea

what she's talking about.

Wanna hear something funny?

This was his shirt.

I know. I gave it to him.

That creed concert

was our first date.

How the f*** was

there a second date?

I like creed.

Well, no wonder he dumped you.

Wanna hear something

even funnier?

I would like to hear something

that's actually funny.

These are his pants.

What is in these?

They're like paint pants.

It's no wonder

he got ball cancer.

This is nice.

Kind of like old times.

So faye, hon,

Ronnie told me you got a job.

A blow job.

Not yet. I just passed

the first interview.

But I wouldn't be

a real teacher yet, just...

Just an art docent.

Mmm.

An art docent.

It's, uh...

It's like

a teacher's assistant.

A job's a job.

Just adopt her already.

Where is it?

Um, Vancouver.

That's far.

Yeah, it is.

Well, your parents

must be really proud, faye.

Yeah, they might be proud

if they remembered

that they were parents.

Veronica.

I'm sorry. I'm drunk.

We're gonna have to

make you a name tag.

Have some water, Ronnie.

- Can you eat?

- Mm-hmm.

Ms. dunaway.

Smells great.

Don't swallow it.

Spit it out.

Spit it out.

Good morning, sunshine.

Mmm. What's happening?

What do you mean?

Are we in the mustang?

Why are we in Garrett's car?

Are we in a car?

Did you kidnap me?

Okay, that's a tad dramatic.

We are going to invermere.

No, no, faye, no.

Pull over, please.

No, don't worry.

I packed your night things.

- Pull over.

-We're all set.

Pull the f*** over, faye!

Turn around.

No.

Fine.

Okay, what are you

gonna do? Walk home?

What is the big deal?

Invermere is cool.

Invermere is not cool.

Invermere is boring

and f***ing quiet.

And that's not even

the goddamn point

because you abducted me!

We are going on vacation.

It's gonna be fun.

Like old times.

Faye, my brother

just f***ing died.

I'm well aware of that, Ronnie.

And he didn't just die.

He died two months ago.

Oh, give me a f***ing break.

We are going

to a summer cottage.

It's not a rehab facility.

I don't need a rehab facility.

Your dinner table

on which you vomited

would beg to differ.

F*** you!

I'll be in the car.

I'm not going to be pleasant.

I would never

ask you to change.

Hi, it's faye Baxter.

I was-- I was in yesterday.

I'm so sorry. This is--

this is really unlike me,

but I'm not gonna be able

to come in on the 29th.

This opportunity is really...

Hey, honey.

Hop in the p*ssy wagon.

Okay, okay.

--Sorry, what was that?

Skype? Yes, Skype--

Skype would be perfect.

Thank you. Uh--

I really appreciate it, Helen.

Thank you so much.

- Hey, look what you've done.

- Hey, ladies.

Oh, hey, you got

any more of those?

Maybe.

Can we get a couple?

Can we see your jugs?

--Do not do it, Ronnie.

He wants to see my jugs.

How about one jug?

Then you get one beer.

--Ta-da!

Oh, yeah!

- Deal's a deal.

Come on. Yes!

Ronnie!

Okay, did you want one?

Oi! Oi, boys!

Yeah!

Pleasure doing

business with you!

Great, perfect.

Now they're probably just

gonna follow us and stalk us.

Yeah,

that's not likely.

But I like that you think

that my tits are that powerful.

I wish my tits

were that powerful.

You guys move the hide-a-key?

You don't know?

You do know.

You're just not gonna tell me.

Yes!

It's not even noon.

You're gonna drink that?

- Mmm!

-You're drinking just...

Are you gonna

narrate the whole trip

or just the arrival portion?

What do you

wanna do today?

I just bought

these amazing beads,

so we could

make friendship bracelets...

Good one.

Come on, Ronnie.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, lets go to town.

I'm out of weed.

Maybe this could be

an opportunity for you.

For what?

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