Stuck on You

Synopsis: Bob and Walt Tenor are twin brothers, who not only share a passion for life, but also a liver. Thanks to their teamwork, being conjoined twins is not a handicap to them. But, when Walt's dreams of stardom of acting on the screen and Bob's shyness clashes, they both begin to fall out. This doesn't help when Bob's Internet girl arrives in town, unaware of their handicap, and when Walt gains his own TV show with Cher.
Genre: Comedy
  2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.8
Metacritic:
62
PG-13
Year:
2003
118 min
27 Views

Slow it down, Bob.

Need a doughnut break.

We're having chest pains.

Keep it moving, flabby.

Opening night

is less than a week away.

Where in the script does it say that

Truman Capote has a fat, saggy ass?

In the very beginning. "Enter Capote,

followed by his fat, saggy ass."

- Hi, Walt.

- Oh, Suzie-Q, looking good. Ruthy.

- Let's have drinks again soon.

- I'll call you.

Nice. When did you

have drinks with her?

The other day. Didn't I tell you?

She stopped by.

- Well, where was l?

- You were...

Oh, that's right,

you were taking a nap.

- So did you make a move?

- I wanted to. I couldn't get her alone.

Had that friend, Ruthy, with her.

She's like a frigging shadow.

- Hi.

- Pole. Pole. Pole.

Okay, now that's seven mushroom,

three onion...

...two regular cheese

but one with no pickles.

And we have six fries, four Pepsi,

and two 7 UP.

You got 180 seconds,

or that food is free.

Keep your wallets handy, boys.

I keep flip-flopping whether

to go with the suit or the kimono.

Hey, guys, we've got a tester

on number six.

Okay, thanks, Mim.

What did Robert Morse do in it?

He did both,

but he had the budget for it.

We got 12 American Charlies,

seven with fungus, three tearjerkers...

...two bare-assed, hold the pom-poms

on one and frog sticks.

We could do it with three hands

tied behind our backs!

Rocket, I need four Pepsi

and two 7 UP on number six.

Don't forget, you've got two

Diet Pepsi on number nine.

You got it, Mimmy.

Three 7 UP coming up.

- No, it's two 7 UP--

- I got it. I got it.

Looks like

they're having serious trouble.

Come on. Come on.

12, 11, 10, 9...

- ...8, 7, 6, 5...

- I'd go with the kimono.

...4, 3, 2--

- I'm sorry, boys. Maybe next time.

- Thanks, Mimmy.

So close.

You downloaded another picture

of your lnternet pal.

What's her name, Poon Tang?

- Her name is May Fong.

- So she says.

She could be

a 50-year-old circus freak...

...with six teeth

and a set of hairy walnuts.

Nice.

They paid 3.5 million.

We could've gotten it for 1.2.

I want my drink.

Well, hallelujah.

We finally got our drinks.

Root beer machine

had to be changed.

What the-- ? Hold on, pal. Diet Pepsi.

We ordered Diet Pepsi. Are you dense?

I'm Rocket. Dennis works

at the post office. Need stamps?

Oh, so you're a smart-ass, huh?

Oh, you idiot!

These are my good pants!

Oh, those are her good pants.

Honey--

Unbelievable.

- I want to talk to the owner.

- All right, right behind you.

Which one of you two

is in charge of this dump?

Your damn busboy just ruined

my wife's pants.

Well, I'm sorry about that.

You know, club soda's good for that.

I'm sure you think it's very progressive

to hire Jerry's Kids...

...but keep the freaks in the back...

...washing dishes,

away from the paying customers.

You are absolutely right.

How many times have I told you, Walt...

- ...we don't want freaks here.

- He tells me. I never--

- Ever! Ever, do you?

- For some reason. I don't know why.

We're on top of it.

We're gonna handle it right now.

Rocket, let me talk to you

for a minute.

You know, we have a rule about freaks

in this place. We don't like them.

And we don't want them.

So, Rocket,

you see that door over there?

Would you escort

this freak through it?

No problem.

Right this way, please.

I'm not going anywhere.

Don't forget your bag.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Would you like those root beers to go?

All right, burgers on the house!

- He's just kidding, you cheap bastards.

- No, I'm not. No, I'm not.

No, yeah, he is. He is.

- Nice stop, guys. Way to go.

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Peter Farrelly

Peter John Farrelly (born December 17, 1956) is an American film director, screenwriter, producer and novelist. The Farrelly brothers are mostly famous for directing and producing gross-out humor romantic comedy films such as Dumb and Dumber, Shallow Hal, Me, Myself and Irene, There's Something About Mary and the 2007 remake of The Heartbreak Kid. In addition to his extensive film career, Peter is also an acting board member of the online media company DeskSite. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Stuck on You" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 18 Oct. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/stuck_on_you_19020>.

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