Strange Wilderness Page #2

at P.J. Maloney's.

By the way, did you guys notice

any sediment in that tequila?

'Cause some kind of pebble or rock

or something clogged up my penis hole

and my Johnson swelled up

like a f***ing water balloon

hooked up to a tea kettle.

F*** you! You wanna fight?

Here we are. Pull over.

You guys better hustle up.

You're 45 minutes late for the meeting.

You guys better hustle up.

You're 45 minutes late for the meeting.

Great. I'll tell him you called. Thank you.

Good morning. We have

an 11:
00 meeting with Mr. Ed Lawson.

Sorry we're a little late.

Dude, Sky Pierson.

Hey, Pierson, TJ.

Well, as I live and breathe.

Peter Gaulke

and his shadow, Fred Wolf.

No, no, not Pete and Fred.

It's more like Neil and Bob.

Or is that just what they do?

Hey, so what are you guys doing here?

We're talking to Lawson about bringing

our wildlife show over here to K-PIP.

It's great, 'cause Lawson's in there

jumping through hoops

trying to make the deal work.

It is so much fun

to have your ass royally kissed.

Yeah, it is.

I mean, after all, it's not your fault

that our budget

blows yours to kingdom come.

And you must miss

your father's skills, am I right?

Yeah.

Yeah, actually it's...

Yes, just at times when I...

You know what, we've got to go.

Later, huh?

Seriously, good luck, dude.

Awesome.

You know, I know he was jiving us

a little, but Sky Pierson's so cool.

Oh, yeah, you kidding me?

He is the king

of wildlife show hosts, man.

All right, come on, let's see Lawson.

- This is it.

- Germans do it.

All right, let's cut to the chase.

The ratings for Strange Wilderness

have been dropping considerably

for the past two years.

Okay, now, when my dad had the show,

you aired him at 7:00

and we're on at 3:00 a.m. So...

Pete, let me finish.

I haven't even started yet. Okay?

Let's take the crappy ratings aside.

Throw them aside.

The network has taken so much flak

for the perceived irresponsibilitys

of your show.

I had my assistant

put together some clips.

Oh, fun.

Let me tell you something. I am

disturbed by what I'm seeing. Okay?

Many of these animals are... Whoa,

something's about to go down here.

Oh, I can smell a good time

on the horizon. Oh, that's it.

Slice me off a piece and serve it up hot.

I'm next in line.

Okay.

That's okay, right?

Sad.

Okay? What about this?

Hey, stick around

because when we come back, we're

gonna find us some pygmy people.

All right, all the littering aside,

how do you refer

to the indigenous people, the natives,

as pygmy people?

That's just wrong!

What? No.

I like all people.

It's Fred who's the racist.

You ought to hear what he says

about the Chine.

- Right?

- What?

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