Strange Brew script
Strange Brew (1983)
Synopsis: In their quest for free beer, bumbling Canadian brothers Bob (Rick Moranis) and Doug McKenzie (Dave Thomas) wind up working at the Elsinore Brewery. The hapless lads uncover a sinister mind-control plot spearheaded by Brewmeister Smith (Max von Sydow) and must stop the scheme, which also involves Uncle Claude (Paul Dooley), a member of the Elsinore family. As Bob and Doug try to prevent Smith from taking over the world, they also manage to drink plenty of their favorite sudsy beverage.

Bob

Hey, growl will you?

Doug

Make some noise, you knob!

Bob

Yeah, we gotta start the movie, eh? He's not growling.

Doug

Gee, I think he's bummed out.

Bob

Stick a pin in his bum, eh?

Doug

No way.

Bob

[to lion] What are you on, Valium?

Doug

Maybe I ought crank his tail, eh, that ought to start him up. [cranks

lion's tail] Ok, start up, come on, eh!

Bob

Maybe we ought to call Marlin Perkins, eh? Get Wild Kingdom here, eh?

Oh geez, he's getting mad.

[Bob and Doug notice that the camera is on]

Doug

Oh geez, we gotta get going!

[Both run to stage set and sit down]

Bob

Do the theme, eh?

Doug

[gives Great White North theme]

Bob

Good day, eh. Oh, hey, do our new movie theme, eh?

Doug

[gives Great White North fanfare]

Bob

Beauty, eh? Good day, I'm Bob McKenzie, this is my brother Doug.

Doug

How's it going, eh?

Bob

Welcome to our movie, eh? Ok, our topic is movies. First off, the

difference between movies and tv. Ok, go to tv!

[scene shifts to television set with Bob and Doug]

Bob

This is the difference between tv and movies, eh?

Doug

So?

Bob

Ok, go back to movies!

[lion roars]

Bob

Geez, now that hoser's growling!

Doug

Yeah.

Bob

Take off, will you? We're doing our movie!

Doug

Yeah, don't wreck our show, you hoser!

Bob

Ok, another topic. Zoom out, eh?

Doug

Yeah.

Bob

Let's show them how big the screen is, eh? Zoom out!

Doug

Look how HUGE it is, eh?

Bob

Ok, like normally we just have Great White North, eh? But look, we

got, what's that over there?

Doug

Ok, like England, and Ireland, and France, eh?

Bob

He's a genius, eh? He knows the atlas. Ok, and over here we have...

Doug

Uh, Russia and Hawaii.

Bob

Ok, so all hosers in Russia and Hawaii and England, welcome to our

movie, eh?

Doug

How's it going...COMRADES?

Bob

Ok, we made, uh, zoom back in, eh? [camera zooms back in] Ok, we made

a movie, eh? So we're going to show that now.

Doug

Yeah. Oh, wait a minute. First you've got to interview me the

director.

Bob

I've got to put up the screen, too, eh.

Doug

Don't forget. Ok, zoom in on me, the director. Come on!

[Camera zooms in on Doug]

Bob

I directed, too, eh?

Doug

Yeah, well, I've got to give them my theory on movies, eh? Ok, here's

my theory on movies, eh? You want to know how to wreck a movie, eh?

Take a jar of moths into the theater, eh?

Bob:
[Fumbles with movie screen, it collapses] Sorry.

Doug

And then, like, release them at a point in the movie when you know

what's going to happen, and all the moths will fly up to the projection

booth window and cloud it up and you can demand your money back! Beauty

idea, eh?

Bob

Ok. Zoom out, eh? [Camera zooms out] Ok, this movie was shot in 3-B,

three beers, and it looks good, eh?

Doug

Hoserama. Call it hoserama, eh?

Bob

Ok, so we made a movie. So sit back and get some corn, and let's

have..uh..it's movie time.

Doug

Ok, turn it on.

Bob

Ok. [turn on projector]

----------------------------------------------------------------

[SCENE TWO - Their movie]

[Sign says

2051 A.D. Ten years after World War 4.]

Bob

Give 'em enough time to...

Doug

[reads sign] What?

Bob

No, more.

Doug

They saw it already!

[Both fight over sign, the camera cuts to Bob on beach]

Bob

I was the only one left on the planet after the holocaust, eh?

Doug

[off camera to Bob] Hey hoser, go!

Bob

The earth had been, like, devastated by nuclear war. Like, Russia blew

up the US and the US blew up Russia. [picks up statue from ground]

Statue of Liberty.

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Rick Moranis

Frederick Allan "Rick" Moranis (born April 18, 1953) is a Canadian actor, comedian, screenwriter and songwriter. He came to prominence in the sketch comedy series Second City Television (SCTV) in the 1980s and later appeared in several Hollywood films, including Strange Brew (1983), Ghostbusters (1984), Spaceballs (1987), Little Shop of Horrors (1986), Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989, and its 1992 and 1997 sequels), Parenthood (1989), My Blue Heaven (1990), and The Flintstones (1994). more…

All Rick Moranis scripts | Rick Moranis Books

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"Strange Brew" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2017. Web. 17 Dec. 2017. <http://www.scripts.com/script/strange_brew_745>.

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