
Storks
1
For as long as can be remembered,
storks delivered babies
from their perch on Stork Mountain.
It was an honor and a privilege to serve.
It was our duty, our core belief,
the driving force of our very lifeblood.
Aw... Ow!
It wasn't always easy.
Oh...
This was our challenge.
This was our sacred duty.
No matter how tough or impossible
or brutal or harsh or inhumane or savage,
we would triumph over adversity.
Phew!
Gotcha!
Oh!
Hey.
- On your right.
- Left.
Bike lane.
Thank goodness we don't do that anymore.
There! Right there!
The problem was, we had the wrong cargo.
Our new phones!
Luckily, now, storks deliver
packages for Cornerstore.com!
- My dude!
- Oh, yeah!
Yo, Kevron! Lookin' good, my man!
Oh, I love this guy!
Perfect landing. Chiggy-check.
You're the man!
What? Millionth package? Not possible.
I thought I was only at 20.
Hey, Junior, are you gonna celebrate?
You know what? You're right.
I should celebrate.
What are you guys doing this weekend?
Are you guys free?
The wife and I
are celebrating another anniversary.
Got my kid's game this weekend.
Family reunion. The whole family's coming.
Oh. Just wanted to confirm.
That you were all busy.
I assumed you were all busy and you are.
So, if anything changes, let me know.
I maybe could get out of work.
Probably can't,
but let me know if you can.
Great job out there, brah!
Thanks, Pigeon Toady.
Check out my girlfriend.
- She's in Canada.
- Yeah-huh.
She migrated.
- She's not made up.
- Okay.
Look at her! Look at her!
- She exists, brah!
- That's great.
Hey, did you guys hear about Roger?
Ah!
Oh, my goodness. Are you okay?
What? Hey, brah. I say... What? Okay.
I tell you about my girlfriend?
Hey, boss wants to see you.
Uh...
Hunter wants to see me?
All right. Head in the game, Junior.
So, you're Hunter.
What do you do around here?
No, I hate that.
Hunter. Nice. To. Meet. You.
No, that's too robot.
Just say it normal. Just say it normal.
Here we go.
Nice to meet you!
What is wrong with me?
Junior.
Hunter.
You know why
I built my office entirely out of glass
even though birds can't see glass?
I do not.
Power move.
Eighteen years ago, I saved all storks
by getting out of babies
and into package delivery.
Now, this Monday at Storkcon, the board
will announce they're kicking me upstairs.
I'm going to be named Chairman.
Which means you are going to be named
boss.
Boss!
Cool, cool, cool. Very cool, very cool.
Now, look upon your domain
with your eyes wide open.
- Yeah.
- Wider.
I love it. Feels good.
How can you be boss
if you can't look at it?
If I go blind, it was worth it.
You know the hardest thing
about bein' boss?
Staring at the sun?
No, this is easy.
Whether to be like a friend boss
or a distant, weird boss?
Always be distant and weird.
What's the matter with you?
Sorry.
No, it's dealing with that.
The orphan Tulip?
I don't understand.
Do you know why
we stopped delivering babies?
Because there are so many
other ways of getting babies?
Yes. But that's not the whole story.
Eighteen years ago,
when we still delivered human infants,
went crazy and tried to keep a baby.
Tulip's beacon broke.
Her address was destroyed,
so we could no longer deliver her.
My baby!
It was then I realized that
there was no future in baby delivery.
Now, the orphan Tulip has just turned 18,
which means we can finally liberate her
and return her to the human world.
But she's no trouble.
Oh, she isn't, is she?
Here's our profit chart.
- I love a good profit chart.
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Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
"Storks" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 25 Feb. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/storks_18927>.