Stillwater Page #2

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I didn't have to lug around

as much sh*t as

this guy made me.

He just sits down here,

relaxin', drinking a beer,

he's got me climbing

trees, dangling off limbs,

to put his f***ing star

camera up in the sky there.

He's relaxing.

- He's on vacation.

- He is on vacation.

Bring it in.

Look, this was last night.

That, my friends,

is the milky way.

You should it when we

display this in the shop.

It puts customers in

like a serious trance.

Wow.

Well, that is f***ing

great, Copernicus,

but can we get

back to tents now,

'cause I wanna be as

far as I possibly can

from all of you,

especially Dawson, now that I

remember how loud he snores.

And I need my

f***ing beauty sleep.

Hey, you ever get

tired of being you, Coop?

No.

(laughing)

Why?

You're way out

there, mister big shot.

Okay, that's Willie, that's

Dawson, that's me and Richie

over here, and then lastly...

Hey, speak of the devil.

- What's up, motherfuckers?

- Ah, damn it.

Oh, what's the matter?

What, you didn't

think I'd make it?

[Richie] You have

been known, Leech.

Ah, bullshit.

Look, you wouldn't have made

it if you'd been through

what I just went through.

I mean sh*t, first my

publicist calls me, right?

She's on the phone

with me for four hours,

talking my ear off.

I'm like, oh my god,

I'm stressed out.

So, I go to stop, pull

over, get a beer, right?

Go to pay for the beer,

lost my f***ing wallet.

Jesus Christ, I don't

even wanna tell you

what I had to do to

negotiate these bad boys.

Seriously, another

story, another time.

Sh*t's f***ed.

Anyway, I get on

the highway, right?

Cruising, making good time.

All of a sudden,

I'm driving, boom,

f***ing 25 point buck comes

outta f***ing nowhere.

I'm like errr, get out

the f***ing way, Bambi.

Skidding, get off to the

side, turn the car off,

stalls dead, won't start.

I'm f***ed.

You ever try hitchhiking with

a f***ing canoe on your back?

Sh*t is real, bro.

Wow.

Uh, you know, I work

with liars all day long

and that is grade-A bullshit.

Are you f***ing insane?

No, man, it happened.

We know you had

to make your bed.

Give that hot momma

a little foot rub.

F*** you, man.

I'm not the foot doctor here.

Podiatrist, goddamn it.

(laughing)

Oh, there it is.

Podiatrist.

(laughing)

- What's up, man?

- What's up, Richie?

Listen, those tents

are fully loaded.

I appreciate this.

- [Cooper] Jack, Jack.

- I got everything you need.

Now we're talking, man.

Any chance you got cell

towers in these tents?

No, man.

(laughing)

Great, my fans are

not gonna like that.

I'm sure all three

of them will survive.

At least they're not

f***ing four years old.

So what?

Who needs cell towers

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