Steve Rannazzisi: Breaking Dad Page #2
- Year:
- 2015
- 70 min
- 47 Views
So now this guy's
in the middle of the ocean,
6:
00 at night,in a life vest.
No boat.
No one's around.
So what does this guy do?
He swims nine miles
back to the shore of Miami
in the dark, in the ocean,
at night.
Nine [bleep] miles.
I have no comprehension of what
that must have felt like.
I'm gonna--let me ask you
a question, okay?
You're put in
the exact same situation, sir.
How many miles do you
think you make it? Honestly.
all the people that are here.
- A quarter mile.
- Did you say a quarter mile?
[laughter and applause]
A quarter mile's very honest.
A quarter mile is--yes.
That's an honest answer, sir.
That's like not
giving up too soon,
but you're like,
"I'm gonna give it an effort,
but there's no [bleep] way
I'm making it to the beach."
Here's how far I would make it.
I would swim until
something grazed my foot--
a sea creature--
and then I would just be like,
"Click, click, click, click.
Blub, blub, blub, blub."
Right to the bottom
of the [bleep] ocean.
Done.
Done!
Sea creatures
touching my feet?
No, thank you!
If someone else's foot
touches mine in a hot tub,
I'll barf everywhere.
I'll [bleep] a hot tub party up.
I'll ruin it.
Nine miles in the ocean!
During the night!
Swam!
Came up on shore
at 6:
00 in the morning.Walked onto the shore.
Just came out of the water.
Which I hope was the night
where some high school kids
were taking acid
and decided to come down,
just hanging out at the beach.
Like, "Right, PJ?
"This is the greatest
night ever, right, man?
What the [bleep] is that?"
Just, "Blurgh!"
Crawling out of the water?
An ex-linebacker?
Covered in seaweed?
Your brain would
never work right again.
They brought him
to the hospital.
He had, like,
over 150 jellyfish stings,
like, all over his body.
Yeah, yeah,
it was horrible.
They gave him shots, ointment,
and then he checked himself
out of the hospital.
Yeah, he released himself.
He was like, "I want
to go home and see my family."
Went home, just
hanging out with his family.
They made him do
a press conference,
and they asked him, "Dude,
what made you swim?
"Like, at some point,
you had to go, 'No, I'm done.
I can't do it anymore.'"
He was like,
"Every time I wanted to stop,
"I just thought of my wife
and my kids,
and I just kept going."
And I was like, "Oh, my God.
Who is this man's family?"
Like, who is his wife?
She must make him pancakes
and [bleep] his dick
while he's eating them.
Right?
His kids must have paper routes
and mow people's lawns
and give him the money.
"Here, Dad. You keep this.
You're gonna need it one day
for us."
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"Steve Rannazzisi: Breaking Dad" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/steve_rannazzisi:_breaking_dad_18884>.
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