Stage Beauty Page #3

Oh, painted ladies in the night!

Universal sign for whores to let.

How much for the each of you?

For honour's sake, sir, assert yourself.

Well, dear, how can I?

I'm but a wilting girl.

Oh, come on, how much for a f***?

Do something!

Very well. That one's a shilling,

that one's a penny. I'm five pounds a week.

Sir, do you know who I am?

I am Lady Aurelia Meresvale.

- She's the shilling.

- Oh, you...!

Driver, get us out of here!

Wait a minute! I've got a shilling.

Wait ho!

I'm not done haggling yet.

I warn you, sir, I doubt you'll find in me

what you're looking for.

Oh, ho, ho! I'll be the judge of that.

Now, come on

Open up!

Found a guardian at the gate, did you?

Five pounds indeed.

'Twas the weight, not the price.

Wait a minute.

Didn't say no, did I?

I'm in the market for a mistress.

A male one might be just the thing.

- Sir, I am spoken for.

- Oh, come along!

I shall never wear this glove again.

- Ha, ha, ha!

- Mark me, bum boy!

I shall see to you

and we shall settle this account.

Two, three...

four, five, six!

Cheers!

Even if it was only a one-off,

at least we did it once, eh?

- And in under three hours!

- Oh, no, I have to go!

- Maria!

- Maria, where are you going?

- My dear!

- Mr Pepys!

- Maria, that was quite a performance.

- Thank you, sir.

- Hidden talents.

- Thank you.

- Yes, well...

- Who'd have thought it?

- Our secret, eh?

- Yes, quite.

I say, do you know,

I was wondering, Maria,

I know it is rather last-minute,

but still, if I may,

tomorrow evening...

- Really?

- Oh, yeah.

If you're free, that is?

What happened to my pillow?

Oh, God, a tear.

Did I do that?

Ah, must have.

Oh, we do not know our passions.

Oh, Maria, I am exhausted.

Why?

Those two gentleladies wanted

to feel my cock for the sake of a wager.

Ah.

Are you in a hurry to get home?

No.

Help me.

I want to do the death scene again.

- Now?

- Mm.

All the elements are there.

It just feels off.

The audience doesn't notice.

I'm not satisfied.

You be Othello. I'll be me.

- Where do I start?

- I'll start.

Alas...

Alas, he is betray'd,

and I... undone!

Grab the pillow.

Out, strumpet!

Weep'st thou for him to my face?

O, banish me, my lord, but kill me not!

Down, strumpet!

Kill me tomorrow; let me live tonight!

- Now come at me.

- Nay, if you strive...

- But half an hour!

- Being done, there is no pause.

- But while I say one prayer!

- It is too late.

Smother, smother, smother.

She doesn't kiss him.

What is it?

Did they succeed?

Did who succeed?

The ladies.

In feeling you.

What kind of girl do you take me for?

Help me with this.

Do you want me to mend your pillow?

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