Spring Forward Page #3

even if he created the problem...

...by telling you what to do, like you're unhuman.

They back you into a corner

with their authority, like.

Know how many people wanna hire you

once you did time for armed robbery?

It's like, "Hello! I'm radioactive!"

Kaiser hired you.

One guy.

He just told me, "I've been there."

He was! The judge told him,

"Go to Vietnam or go to jail."

- I didn't get a choice.

- I don't think his was armed robbery.

- I needed the money.

- You told me that.

I bought a car so I could get to my new job.

A good job.

Working at the kitchen over there,

at IBM, in the cafeteria.

Minimum wage, but hey, right?

One whole year I looked, taking those

nighttime construction jobs, no permit.

I demoed for a guy five weeks in a row.

He screwed me, told me payroll f***ed up.

Ripped down asbestos for him,

illegal, two months, never said a word.

And now, could I help him out?

Meanwhile, I eat peanut butter sandwiches,

and crash on my friend's couch.

- Couldn't say he was f***in' me or...

- Please.

Sorry.

So that job was over.

Never saw the money.

I couldn't get unemployment.

No proof of employment.

Why call it unemployment?

Watch this. That's sumac. It's poisonous.

So I get the job at IBM.

After two weeks, I get my first paycheck for $310.

- Tax.

- No, listen.

I go to the manager, say,

"There's a problem with my check."

"No, there isn't," he says. So I tell him:

"Look. I worked 91 hours at $5.25."

"No, you didn't," he says.

I feel something coming on.

He tells me that four of my days

were following days.

- When I'm not...

- "Following days"?

Where I'm just learning the ropes.

I don't get paid for those,

wasn't skilled enough for the kitchen.

That would have frosted me!

What?

Frosted.

- Pissed me off.

- Right?

I tell him I don't think that's fair.

He says it is.

They're not running an outreach program.

Like I was a f***in' junkie or something.

Next thing I know,

I'm escorted to the parking lot...

...like I was some kind of terrorist.

- Jesus.

- And I'm in the hole for $700.

I just saw the whole thing slipping away,

the good food, the car.

My friend's wife giving him sh*t about

how long I was staying.

So I go into this Dunkin' Donuts off

the Merritt Parkway that I knew was 24 hours.

And I rob them.

What was I gonna do?

What about the armed part?

Were you on the drugs?

No.

I figured I wasn't going without a gun, you know.

Some off-duty cop. You never know.

How'd they catch you?

A woman who worked there

also worked in the cafeteria.

What was I gonna do? Shoot her?

Next morning,

the cops knock on my friend's door.

All night, I sweat bullets,

promise God I'll never do it again.

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