Spanish Movie Page #3

and you're Jeeves, my butler.

I recall something about a mission

and being a faun...

Exactly. Your mission is to do

anything I say.

Next time you must address me

as your royal Highness

and bow at my feet.

I don't know if I can remember

all that.

- Your Highness.

- Your Highness.

Thank you, Jose.

You're a lifesaver.

Now lie down

and pretend you're asleep.

Did you find Simeon?

Yes, yes.

What an angel.

I just tucked him in.

Good. I'll say good night.

No!

No, leave him alone.

I mean, boys his age...

need a little more intimacy.

Intimacy?

How revolting!

At times like these

I miss my husband the most...

But he's not here.

So I'll have to talk to him myself.

Would you please step aside?

Simeon?

Simeon, sweetheart.

What are you doing?

Simeon.

Have I ever told you

about the birds and the bees?

It's a beautiful story.

Like when you were conceived.

It was so lovely, so beautiful.

Your father and I met

in a roadside bar.

I'd had a few cocktails.

Only fifteen or twenty.

And your father got a little

naughty.

I felt dizzy

and went to the bathroom.

He followed me

and grabbed me from behind,

propped me up against the wall

and wham, bam!

He humped my brains out.

But it was very tender,

very sweet.

Then he did me doggie-style

while he fondled my perky breasts.

Wham, bam!

In and out, on top, from behind...

And without lubricant!

And the result

of that night's love....

you.

Look at you now.

You remind me so much

of your father.

With that... scratchy beard.

What are you hiding in there?

What is this?

Playing with the flashlight again?

Oh my God!

Have I ever told you the story...

....about the old lighthouse?

It hasn't worked for years,

but you want to hear a secret?

They say it has an invisible light

that protects us all.

Now say your prayers

and go to sleep.

Ouch!

Make yourself at home.

Is this how poor people live?

We can't all have a mansion

like your mom's.

Why not move in with us?

Silly girl.

I can't. Who would take care

of my Antonio?

- Has he got your number?

- My number? No, no.

We're too poor.

I don't have a cell phone.

No, I mean like you

and my uncle San Anton.

You like each other.

I can tell.

What are you?

I love my husband, that's why

I married him. "Till death do us part."

That's how we'll do it then.

Till death does you part.

Where is my man?

My brave swordsman.

I'm waiting for you,

you're a sex machine.

Hello.

Can I help you, ma'am?

Of course you can help me.

I'm...

Excuse me.

No, I said quicklime. Quicklime.

Thank you.

Maligna Escobero,

from the Department of Rare....

Diseases.

How may I be of service?

Where's Simeon?

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