Spaceman Page #5

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It's all the COD you can eat.

Hydroponics.

Hydroponics.

Trust me, it's gonna

be big one day.

Ever think about

going into politics, bill?

Hey, would you village idiots

shut the f*** up already.

Dickie Dennis.

This strapping

young man right here

is a goddamn professional

baseball player.

That's right, goddammit.

He doesn't need to be growing

weed on a fishing boat

while running for the

senate for his livelihood.

F*** no, he needs to

be throwing a baseball.

Because it is a god given talent.

That's right.

And the spaceman here

is an icon,

he's bigger than the game itself.

Okay, all right, dick.

And the game needs fellas like this.

That's enough.

No, no, no.

Let's get another one.

I got a way of getting

you back on the mound.

A word in my office,

s'il vous plait.

Okay, I can't wait

to hear this one.

Yep.

Right, Larry, thank you.

So how's the new novel

coming along there, dick?

Great. Just waiting on

notes from the editor.

He's real excited

about this one.

Isn't that what you said

about the last one?

Yeah, and the one before that.

But this is not about

my bad luck streak.

It is about

your bad luck streak.

You got a plan?

Yeah, I got a plan.

What is it? My plan is

to wait by the phone

and just wait for the

offers to come rolling in.

That's my plan.

What if your phone don't ring?

It will.

I gotta be honest with you, bill.

You're 35 years old.

You're not over the hill just yet, but

you're not a spring chicken either.

Satchel Paige threw

three scoreless innings

against the Red Sox

when he was 59 years old.

I'm well aware of that fact.

And that's why

I got a real plan.

What we're gonna do...

We're gonna write letters

to every single team

in major league baseball.

We're gonna let 'em know that you are

healthy, ready, and available to play.

You mean every team

in the national league?

Why?

Oh.

I won't be able to hit

in the American league.

I don't think we should

cut the cloth quite so fine.

I gotta hit, I gotta hit,

and that means being part

of the national league.

Yeah, but you're cutting

our options in half.

What do you mean,

"our options?"

What is this?

It means I'll be your agent.

Just for

a nominal fee, you know?

Whatever the industry

standard is.

I don't know that.

I've been just fine on my own without

an agent for all these years.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Yeah. What do you know about

being an agent, anyway?

Where is your career right now?

Professional representation

is where the sport is headed.

So why don't you do

what you do best,

you let me do what I do best.

And what is it exactly

that you do best?

Now you're just

trying to hurt me.

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