SoulBoy

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For many people, the

name Stoke-on-Trent

conjures up images of 19th

century smoke and grime.

Of steelworks, coalmines,

and the centre of

England's pottery industry.

But Stoke today couldn't

be more different.

Whether you're young or not so

young, Stoke has plenty going on.

It may not have all the glamorous

attractions of neighbouring

Liverpool, Manchester or

Birmingham, but come the weekend,

Stoke folk really know

how to let their hair down.

Come on, Russ!

It's another hit from Mud for

all you love tigers out there.

That you love to be

Oh, well, now, you've

been layin' it down

You got your hips

swingin' out of bounds

And I like the way you

do what you're doin' to me

All right!

Well that's right, that's

right, that's right, that's right

I really love

your tiger light

And that's neat, that's

neat, that's neat, that's neat

I really love

your tiger feet

Your tiger feet

What the f*** do

you think you are?

Your tiger feet

Twat.

Your tiger feet

All right!

Bringing the curtain down on

another Purple Onion Saturday.

The house

of L-O-V-E.

Come on, bastard!

Shhh!

F***'s sake, Russ. No

name's, man. I told you.

Yes, we're in.

Wait till they

see what we've got.

Oh, look! He's got

digital watches.

Give it some

hurry up, will you?

You can have one as well! The coats

is what we came for, nowt else.

Get in, get the coats, gone.

All right. So let's

get f***ing gone!

Bobby, I've just heard

something in the yard.

Oi!

Move!

F***ing hell, man!

F***ing open it!

F***ing stop and

f***ing open it!

He's coming!

Bastard.

Come on. Get

the f***er going!

Bastards!

Bastards!

Hips swingin' out of bounds

And I like the way you

do what you're doin' to me

All right!

Well that's right, that's

right, that's right, that's right

I really love

your tiger light

Joe! It's gone half past!

Joe! Are you coming or what?

'Look at the state

the country's in.

'The IRA are bombing their

way around the country,

'we've had the

miners' strikes'

"The people of this

country deserve leadership. "

'Two general elections

in the same year'

What's this? Your

job or a bloody hobby?

Another grand weekend

by the look of things.

You wouldn't believe it.

I'll tell you, whatever they're

serving in that Purple Onion,

it's not doing you any good.

Joe.

He doesn't love

you the way I do

Monica. Brendan. How are you

today? A bit tired, you know.

You work too hard, you should

rest more in your condition.

Chance would

be a fine thing.

Wait till I show you,

Tom Jones, new Vegas look.

Oh, he's sexy.

D'you know in Vegas, the women

are throwing their panties at him?

Well, he could have mine any

time, all he needs do is ask.

I saw the face,

the face of a loser

I saw the face, the face of

Now, Paddy, blown up

anywhere nice lately?

Now, Bobby, you know I'm

not into that sort of thing.

Nah, that'd be some other

Irish bastard, I suppose.

Do you know owt

about sheepskin coats?

Sheepskin coats?

You know, like what sheep

wear, except better tailored.

Cos some thieving

turd's been in my lock-up

and been off with a whole

f***ing rail of them.

Me? You're thinking me?

I know you, bog trotter. I know you.

Always after what's not your own.

If I ever find

out who did do it

Two tins of undercoat,

a dozen bog rolls

Spuds.

Holy Mother Divine Jesus.

Now, there's a thing

of beauty. 12.00, Joe.

She's out of my league.

Not at all. Don't be

daft, she's gorgeous.

That's your

problem, isn't it?

Why wouldn't you be good

enough for the likes of her?

It's all about having

a bit of self-belief.

A fine looking fella like you.

If you don't ask, you get nothing.

Joe!

Is this it?

Kim Weston, she's

a soul singer.

Does that look

like a soul album?

Ah, there it is. Kim Weston.

Hey, Joe.

Do you know about

her, Dee Dee?

She turned up about a month ago on

a rainbow, from the land of love.

Orders imports

from the States

like Dean Parish, Dobie

Grey, Yvonne Baker.

When she orders,

she give a name?

Let's have a look. Right.

Jane Rogers.

Trimmer's. What's Trimmer's?

A hairdresser's in town.

You wouldn't know it.

Need an appointment?

I'll see if I can fit you in

"Double Cookin'" by

Checkerboard Squares

Pretty good, that.

Not the Four Tops, is it?

Right. It's not.

So, what's the

Twisted Wheel?

You'll be cracking on you

know nowt about Wigan next!

A club.

The Wheel was a soul

club in Manchester.

They shut it. Said people were

having too much fun. In Wigan?

It opened last year. 2-8.

No divvies allowed.

Might see you there, then.

Stranger things

happen. Groovy.

It'll take a day

or so to settle.

Got no change. Sorry.

I like it,

right? RUSS SNORTS

Wigan? I'd rather set

meself on fire, mate.

"Great sounds,

all night dancing."

The only dance I

know is the dime fly.

Fly's not a dance.

You made it up.

Every dance is

made up by someone!

Anyway, Saturday nights,

we're at The Onion.

And I'm pig sick of it!

This place, it'll

blow your mind! Look.

"If you're into soul,

Wigan Casino will blow."

But I'm not into soul.

Not yet.

"The Snake" by Al Wilson

On her way to

work one morning

Down the path

alongside the lake

A tender-hearted woman saw

a poor half-frozen snake

His pretty coloured skin had

been all frosted with the dew

"Oh, well!" she cried,

"I'll take you in"

Oh, yeah. Did I

mention the chicks?

"Take me in,

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