Sons of the Desert

# And here's a hand, my trusty fiere

# And gie's a hand o' thine

# We'll tak' a cup o' kindness now

# For auld lang syne

Brothers, Sons of the Desert.

We are all familiar with the business of

this special meeting.

This oasis must meet the situation

with determination.

(SOMEONE KNOCKS ON DOOR)

Oooh!

Thank you.

I repeat. This oasis must face

the situation with determination.

Every man must be accounted for.

Every man must do his part.

There must be no weaklings in our midst.

We must put our very hearts and souls

into this great undertaking.

There must be no thought of failure.

We must stand shoulder to shoulder.

We must work, we must sacrifice.

The weak must be helped by the strong.

For gentlemen, this, the oldest lodge

in the Great Order of the Sons of the Desert

must be represented 100%

at our annual convention in Chicago next week.

We will now take the oath.

And remember:
once taken,

this oath has never been broken by any man,

down through the centuries of time,

in the history of this fraternal organisation.

If any member is doubtful of his strength

to keep this solemn pledge,

he will please be seated.

(PEOPLE START TO MURMUR)

Get up!

- I don't want to...

- Shh!

Place yourself in position to receive the oath.

Do you all swear to be present

at our 87th annual convention in Chicago?

(ALL):
I do!

Me, too.

Wholeheartedly unanimous.

# We are the Sons of the Desert

# Having the time of our lives

# Marching along 10,000 strong

# Ta ta, my sweetheart and wife,

God bless them

# Tramp, tramp, tramp

the boys are marching

# As a unit melody

(ALL HUM)

# The Sons of the Desert are we.

- Why didn't you want to take the oath?

- I was afraid.

Afraid of what?

I was afraid that if I took the oath to go to the

convention, maybe my wife wouldn't let me go.

Of course she'll let you go.

Why, she'll have to let you go.

- You took an oath!

- I know. That's what I'm worrying about.

The Exhausted Ruler said that if you took an oath,

it would have to be broken for generations

of centuries of hundreds of years.

- My wife wouldn't...

- Do you have to ask your wife everything?

If I didn't ask her,

I wouldn't know what she wanted me to do.

- Hm!

- I didn't want...

I never realised that

such a deplorable condition existed in your home.

Why don't you pattern your life after mine?

I go places and do things and then tell my wife.

Every man should be the king in his own castle!

(CAR STOPS OUTSIDE)

(PEOPLE GET OUT OF THE CAR)

(CAR DRIVES OFF)

Now, buck up. Go in

and tell her that you're going to the convention.

Be a man. I'll see you in the morning.

- Good night.

- (HARDY):
Good night.

- Ollie, dear.

- Yes, sugar?

- Is Stanley with you?

- He just went in the house.

You'd better tell him that Betty went

duck-hunting and won't get back until late.

Alrighty.

- (BETTY):
Oliver?

- Yes, baby?

Please close the door.

There's an awful draught in here.

(OLIVER RINGS THE DOORBELL)

What do you want?

How did you get in there?

I was looking for Betty

and came in the back way. I thought...

Betty has gone duck-hunting

and won't be home until late.

- Oh. Well, good night.

- Good night.

(OLIVER RINGS THE DOORBELL)

What?

Do you realise that you have locked me out?

Why don't you ring the bell?

She'll let you in.

(STANLEY RINGS THE DOORBELL)

Don't get nervous. She'll be here in a minute.

Where do you think I live?

(STANLEY RINGS THE DOORBELL)

What do you think this is? Halloween?

Come in here, you bad boy.

Come on!

(STANLEY RINGS THE DOORBELL)

(STANLEY RINGS THE DOORBELL)

- What do you want?

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