Something Real and Good Page #2

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in these crazy days of life we live.

All right, all right.

Take these tampons if you're

so into practicality.

Hey, why don't you just let me

pick something?

You're getting a little overexcited.

Fine.

Pick something yourself.

Thank you.

I mean honestly, is this how Gwen's poster

spoke to you, because...

Feeling a little excluded,

aren't you?

Maybe.

'cause I could use some help.

You don't mean that.

Of course I do.

Yeah?

Yes.

I need a wingman,

and I think you are

the man for my wing.

Now we're talking.

All right, what's my handle?

What are you?

A trucker?

No, but if we're gonna be covert,

we can't use our real names.

Fine.

I'm Cher, you're Dion.

Why can't I be Cher?

'cause you're the sidekick

in this operation.

Touche.

I need you

to neutralize Elton.

Done.

Great.

Wait.

Who's Elton?

The creeps old lady

over at the register.

Cake.

So, Peggy,

what do you do when you're not working

at Zene's & Things?

You seem like you'd be into...

Well that sounds very interesting.

Good day, madam.

Hey, hey.

What did you get?

What the hell is that?

It's a koosh ball.

A koosh ball?

Yeah.

You think that's more useful

than a travelling compass?

Yeah.

It spoke to me.

Time out.

Time out.

So, are we tight now?

Oh, yeah.

We're an open book.

I tried.

I mean, I'm not all that interesting

really.

I mean what's to know?

I don't know.

Stuff.

Well, I don't know you.

So, like, telling you stuff

would be weird.

That's weird.

Why?

Why?

Just is.

No it's not.

You just said it was.

I didn't.

Yes you did.

Okay, I did.

You interest me.

Okay.

I wanna crack your head open

and see what's inside.

It's filled with candy corn,

psycho.

See?

That's interesting.

What?

Sarcasm as a deflection mechanism.

Is that your armchair

psychology?

I prefer pocket philosopher.

Interesting.

Intriguing.

Indubitably.

Passengers on flight 435

service to Chicago, we'd like

we'd like to thank you for your patience this evening

and apologize for the delay.

We will now begin boarding

at gate 35.

What row are you in?

Me too.

No way.

Wait, what seat are you in?

Um, A.

I'm in B.

Get out of town.

I am.

Can I slap you?

Why?

Because I love the sound.

It's so satisfying.

How hard would you hit me?

Oh, not too hard.

Just enough to get a good whap.

Okay.

I guess.

Damn, that sounded great!

Treachery.

You just slapped the sh*t

out of me.

Don't be such a little b*tch

about it.

It hurt.

Take it like a man.

Legit, you're crazy.

I think I like it.

Don't get fresh.

Thank you.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

On the behalf of captain groom, the entire crew would like

to welcome you onboard flight 435 service to Chicago.

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