Someone Marry Barry

Synopsis: Three friends plot to get rid of their socially inappropriate friend by finding him a wife, but when he meets a woman just like him, their problems double.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Rob Pearlstein
Production: Freestyle Releasing
87 min

In every group of

friends, there's always one guy

who can best be described as

the inappropriate one.

I call that guy a Barry.

A Barry says and does things

other people only think.

And he does not know the word


There are all kinds of


Old Barrys...

young Barrys...

and Barrys all over the world.

And that's me and my three

best friends when we were ten.

The one on the end,

that's our Barry.

His name is Barry.

Growing up we thought Barry

was hilarious.

He played pranks on girls,

he infuriated teachers

and we loved him for it.

But, as we've gotten older,

and started having careers,

wives, and families,

he's become an embarrassment,

a detriment to our

livelihoods and reputations,

a social wrecking ball.

I believe friendship

has no limits.

At least I did...

until Barry went too far.

He never, um,

passed up a opportunity

to appreciate a moment.

My, uh, dad had so many

great qualities.

Um... he was loyal.

He always put others

before himself.

He made an indelible

impression on- on everyone:

my mom, my son JT,

and myself.

Especially during that tough

time after my wife passed away.

So for all these reasons

and uh...

really too many more to count...

I'll miss you, Dad.

Thank you so much, Rafe.

Does anyone else

have any remembrances

they'd like to honor

the deceased with?

Just a simple anecdote or

memory to honor him by?


Oh, I should say something.


- I should say something.

No you should not.

- Yes, I should.

Rafe's dad is not getting

the tribute he deserves.

We gotta celebrate

the man's life.

I think it's fine.

It's fine.

Next time, man.

Next time?


- Anyone?


Barry, have you thought about

what you're gonna say?

Yeah, for years.

No, no, no.

Hey, hey, shh.

- No, no.

Thank you.

I don't-

Hi, ev- hi- whoa...

it's louder than I thought.

My name, for those of you

who don't know me,

is, uh, Barry Burke.

And, uh, I been friends

with Rafe, Kurt, and Desmond

since we all went to camp

together in the fifth grade.

It was the best time of my life.

Our motto back then was,

"Pals forever,"

and it still is today.

As a matter of fact,

the first time I met Rafe

he proved to me

what a great pal he was

by pulling Suzy Henchey off me

when she tried to choke me

for kissing her.

Do you remember that?

Her, uh, her reaction

pretty much set the trend

for my present romantic life.

It is not good.

Uh, the point- the point is,


I'd be remiss if I didn't say

a few words about his dad,

because he was such a

special guy to-to all of us.

I remember the time

in sixth grade when he-

he came to our school

and snuck us out of PE.

Took us to our first

porno flick.

I'll never forget that.

Kurt, you popped in your pants

right there in the theater.

Kurt the Squirt, that's where

that nickname came from.

That's interesting.

I remember thinking to myself,

"Jeez, Louise,

that is a lot of semen

for a ten-year old. "

I remember- I remember

we all had to clean it up.

Didn't happen.

Talk about leaving

an indelible mark.

I'll never forget that one.

I think maybe you should-

Yeah, yeah, and I remember

this other time

in the seventh grade

when he taught us how to

smoke the weed.

No, no, no.

Remember that?

Yeah, he taught us

how to roll it,

puff it, pass it.

He taught us how to smoke weed!

You- you got us so blazed, dude.

You got us so blazed,

you just- come here.


- Oh my God!

Photo-op, hang on,

yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're not supposed to touch

the body...

And- and although he may have

had some honey on the side,

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Rob Pearlstein

Rob Pearlstein is a writer and director. He is best known as the writer and director of Our Time is Up, the film for which he was nominated for the Academy Award for Live Action Short Film. Pearlstein has worked as a copywriter at agencies including TBWA Chiat/Day, Fallon McElligott, BBDO, Deutsch, Saatchi & Saatchi, and MTV. He was also among the top 10 finalists for HBO’s Project Greenlight contest. He has sold screenplays and television pilots to major studios and networks such as Universal Pictures, Focus Features, Jerry Bruckheimer Television, and Lorne Michaels's Broadway Video Productions, and has written episodes for the NBC series Medium and the Fox series The Inside. Pearlstein wrote, directed, and starred in Matumbo Goldberg and he also wrote and directed Someone Marry Barry. more…

All Rob Pearlstein scripts | Rob Pearlstein Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "Someone Marry Barry" STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 9 Aug. 2022. <>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    Someone Marry Barry

    The Marketplace:

    Sell your Script !

    Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!


    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.