Snowtown Page #2

No. No, I'm your best mate.

MAN ON TV #2:

Get off the tracks!

MAN ON TV #1:

Don't be stupid. It's safe.

MAN ON TV #2:

Obviously it's not.

[BIKE REVS]

[BIKE CONTINUES TO REV]

[BIKE REVS GET LOUDER]

[VOICES SINGING]

For he's a jolly good fat c*nt

For he's a jolly good fat c*nt

With an ugly beard as well

JOHN:
What do you call twenty five

lesbians stacked up on top of each other?

MAN:
No idea.

JOHN:

A block of flaps.

[GROUP LAUGHS]

JOHN:

You like that one, Barry?

You like that one?

[LAUGHTER]

- Gidday, mate. I'm John.

- Morning, babe.

- JOHN:
How're you doing?

- It's Jamie.

- You alright?

- Pretty good.

JOHN:

Nice to meet you.

Take a seat, mate.

You hungry, yeah?

I've got some bacon and eggs going.

Do you want that?

- Yeah.

- Yeah? Alright.

- JOHN:
You hungry again, mate?

- NICHOLAS:
Yes.

You eat like a f***ing horse,

you do, don't you?

You want some eggs

and bacon and everything?

- Yes, please.

- Yeah?

Sausages?

You want a sausage too, Jamie?

- JAMIE:
Yep.

- Yep.

JOHN:

Alright. There we go.

I'll just get this up then I'll look

after you, alright?

Jamie mate, I'm really sorry if I woke

you up last night too, mate.

Just had to deal with that f***ing

prick across the road, eh?

BARRY:

Don't worry about it, Jamie.

John'll take care of that bit of sh*t.

It's just not alright, mate,

you know what I mean?

I mean, if the kids were

from the f***ing city...

I bet they'd look after them real

quick, you know what I mean?

He wouldn't be out on bail in a

f***ing day, would he?

[DOOR OPENS / CLOSES]

ELIZABETH:

This is my eldest boy, Troy.

Gidday, mate. I'm John.

How are you?

Jesus, a barrel of

f***ing laughs, he is.

What, did he have a big night, love?

ELIZABETH:

I'd assume so, yes.

Live one, is he?

ELIZABETH:

Absolutely.

[DRUMS PLAYING LOUDLY]

Troy, cut it out!

I don't think he likes us.

Is that it?

[LAUGHTER]

Troy, come on!

BARRY:

I'm late.

Yeah, give it a go, mate.

BARRY:
Been having pains.

[CAR ENGINE CHOKING]

Yeah?

I'm craving gherkins and cheese.

Yeah?

I think I might be pregnant.

[ELIZABETH LAUGHS]

[CAR ENGINE REVS]

ELIZABETH:
Woo-hoo! Yeah!

Alright!

JOHN:
There you go.

[CHEERING]

[BIKE HONKS]

Alright, grab the straps.

That's it.

Give us a look.

Make sure you hold on

really tight for me, alright?

ELIZABETH:
There you go.

On you get.

Hold on tight! Hold on properly.

JOHN:
Nice and tight, mate.

You ready?

Got his foot in foot peg? That's it.

Hold on tight, babe!

[ICE CREAM VAN

MELODY PLAYS]

There you go.

- What do you say?

- Thank you.

- Thank you. Good one.

- VENDOR:
That's a good boy.

- There you go.

- Thank you.

- VENDOR:
I like to hear manners.

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