Snakes on a Plane Page #2

watching my back, son.

- Come on.

- You're right, brother, I got you.

Ladies and gentlemen,

South Pacific Air flight 121

- has been delayed half an hour.

- Oh, come on!

We apologize

for this inconvenience

and we'll begin boarding

as soon as possible.

Oh, boy.

It's gonna be a fun flight.

Aloha all Island

Express passengers...

Five whole hours.

Do you know who's working today?

I didn't get a crew list.

You know,

I have no idea.

Oh my God.

Here she comes. Here she comes!

- Surprise!

- Surprise!

Oh!

Oh, Claire, don't go.

Last thing the world

needs is another lawyer.

I mean, really,

how could you leave all this?

- It's gonna be hard.

- Will you take me with you?

Please.

Could we ask for Bruno

from Simply Corporate?

Elena, by we,

I mean you.

No, not all drivers are the same.

That's the point.

The last thing I need is some guy

going on and on

about the weather

the whole way home. Get Bruno.

Mary Kate, hush.

Sorry, she gets

nervous flying.

Oh, that's okay.

I understand,

you know.

Do you think she'll

want some Xanax?

Oh no, she's okay.

How you feeling?

Yeah, fine.

You ready for this?

Yeah.

Is that our plane?

No, every cop in Honolulu

thinks it is.

Hey, come on, relax.

FBI's escorting

some guy to LA.

They just took over

all first class.

Are they allowed

to do that?

Well, apparently

FAA Section 108 states,

"If deemed necessary,

they can do whatever they want."

Well, who's gonna tell the first class

passengers they're flying coach?

That would be you, kid.

South Pacific Air 121.

Oh, my.

I was hoping you'd

be the sky candy on this flight.

You're looking especially

delicious this evening.

I love it when you

demean me, Rick.

My pleasure.

I gotta go fly a big plane.

- Hi, doll.

- Hi there, Rick.

Isn't he smooth?

Yes, sir. I'm soaking

the leis with it.

The pheromone will make

these guys go f***ing crazy.

Duke.

Leave it, Duke.

- Ladies.

- Welcome aboard.

Agent Flynn.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this is the final boarding call

- for South Pacific Air, flight 121...

- Aloha.

- Thank you.

- with nonstop service to Los Angeles.

- Aloha.

- No no no, the hair.

Aloha.

Unfortunately, first class

is overbooked.

But there's plenty of room for you

to stretch out in coach,

which is less than half full.

For the inconvenience,

we are offering you

a free travel coupon

good on any South Pacific

Air flight.

A free travel coupon won't help me get

to my meeting on time, now will it?

Sir, I'm pretty sure

that coach gets to Los Angeles

about the same time

as first.

Funny. Does my premium awards

membership come with sarcasm,

or should I speak

to your supervisor, Claire?

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