Small Town Crime

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1

[singer] And I think of

all the good times

That I've wasted

Having good times

When I think

of all the good time

That's been wasted

Having good times

[blues rock music playing]

[singer]

When I was drinking

I should've been thinking

When I was fighting

I could've done

the right thing

All of that boozing

I was really losing

Good times

Good times

When I think of all

the good time

That's been wasted

Having good times

When I think of all

the good time

That's been wasted

Having good times

All of my lying

I remember her crying

My useless talking

I could've been walking

Instead of complaining

I could've been gaining

Good times

[officer]

South Core Police Department.

Yes, is Officer Spencer in?

- [officer] Who's calling?

- Mike Kendall.

- [officer] Hey, Mike.

- I'm checking to see

if he's received

my application.

It's a PIQ for re-entry.

[officer] I know this isn't

what you want to hear,

but clearing your background

is gonna be a real challenge.

The department does not let

officers walk right back in

after something like this.

[Mike] I see.

Would you be able to give

any idea how it looks?

[officer] The board makes

the final decision,

but it's not good.

Okay. So they'll call me?

[officer] Yeah, Mike,

if they're interested.

- Right, if they're interested.

- [officer] Look, it'll take

a miracle to get you

back on here.

I just wanna be honest.

Okay. Thank you.

- [officer] Okay.

- [Mike] Goodbye.

Shit.

[upbeat music playing]

[car engine revving]

[tires screeching]

- [man] F*ck you, Kendall.

- [Mike] Morning.

Tell me about yourself.

Okay.

What would you like to know?

You can start

with why you think

you're the best person

for the job.

Well...

I don't take any shit.

[woman] People

that work out here

usually have a way

with animals.

I can imagine.

- Hey, buddy.

- [horse whinnies]

Ooh, whoa, whoa.

[man] If you were to rate

your life success

on a scale of one to ten,

what would it be?

Two.

- Police officer, huh?

- Yes, sir.

Is there a reason

you're still not a cop?

Yeah.

I think I'd like

to hire you.

Really?

I can't say why,

but you struck me.

Let's get you signed in.

You can start first thing

tomorrow morning.

There's, uh,

one other thing

I'd like to mention.

- Sure, go ahead.

- [Mike] Well,

I have a problem

with alcohol.

I see.

Most mornings,

I'm about as worthless

as a park bench in hell.

I usually don't start

thinking straight

until I get a couple

cold ones in me.

After that, I wouldn't

recommend me operating

any heavy machinery,

if you get where I'm going.

Yeah.

But other than that,

you know,

I'm ready to go.

[phone ringing]

Hey, Wendy.

Mister Kendall,

how'd the job hunt

go this month?

Pretty good.

Pretty good.

I like my chances.

[bouncer]

Get the f*ck out of here.

[Mike] That wasn't

my fault, man.

That asshole's wife started

the whole thing.

Come on. Easy, boys.

Hey,

I just had this son

of a bitch dry cleaned.

All right, let me

have another beer

and I'll sober up

a little bit.

Yeah, try it, Mike.

[taser buzzing]

[bouncer] I'll have you

hooked up to that line pole

waiting for the cops.

[Mike] You bastard.

I've been coming here

all my life.

Yeah, and you're

a nasty son of a bitch.

Nobody wants you around.

- Teddy likes me.

- Yeah, you're right about that.

[door opens]

[Teddy] Hold on,

my dick is out,

my dick is out.

Just hold it.

Nothing wrong

with my prostate.

[Mike] Hey.

That's a paying customer,

gentlemen.

Have a little respect.

[bouncer] Boys,

get the hell out of here.

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