
Small Town Crime
1
[singer] And I think of
all the good times
That I've wasted
Having good times
When I think
of all the good time
That's been wasted
Having good times
[blues rock music playing]
[singer]
When I was drinking
I should've been thinking
When I was fighting
I could've done
the right thing
All of that boozing
I was really losing
Good times
Good times
When I think of all
the good time
That's been wasted
Having good times
When I think of all
the good time
That's been wasted
Having good times
All of my lying
I remember her crying
My useless talking
I could've been walking
Instead of complaining
I could've been gaining
Good times
[officer]
South Core Police Department.
- [officer] Who's calling?
- Mike Kendall.
- [officer] Hey, Mike.
- I'm checking to see
if he's received
my application.
It's a PIQ for re-entry.
[officer] I know this isn't
what you want to hear,
but clearing your background
is gonna be a real challenge.
The department does not let
officers walk right back in
after something like this.
[Mike] I see.
Would you be able to give
any idea how it looks?
[officer] The board makes
the final decision,
but it's not good.
Okay. So they'll call me?
[officer] Yeah, Mike,
if they're interested.
- Right, if they're interested.
- [officer] Look, it'll take
a miracle to get you
back on here.
I just wanna be honest.
Okay. Thank you.
- [officer] Okay.
- [Mike] Goodbye.
Shit.
[upbeat music playing]
[car engine revving]
[tires screeching]
- [man] F*ck you, Kendall.
- [Mike] Morning.
Tell me about yourself.
Okay.
What would you like to know?
You can start
with why you think
you're the best person
for the job.
Well...
I don't take any shit.
[woman] People
that work out here
usually have a way
with animals.
I can imagine.
- Hey, buddy.
- [horse whinnies]
Ooh, whoa, whoa.
[man] If you were to rate
your life success
on a scale of one to ten,
what would it be?
Two.
- Police officer, huh?
- Yes, sir.
Is there a reason
you're still not a cop?
Yeah.
I think I'd like
to hire you.
Really?
I can't say why,
but you struck me.
Let's get you signed in.
tomorrow morning.
There's, uh,
one other thing
I'd like to mention.
- Sure, go ahead.
- [Mike] Well,
I have a problem
with alcohol.
I see.
Most mornings,
I'm about as worthless
as a park bench in hell.
I usually don't start
thinking straight
until I get a couple
cold ones in me.
After that, I wouldn't
recommend me operating
any heavy machinery,
if you get where I'm going.
Yeah.
But other than that,
you know,
I'm ready to go.
[phone ringing]
Hey, Wendy.
Mister Kendall,
how'd the job hunt
go this month?
Pretty good.
Pretty good.
I like my chances.
[bouncer]
Get the f*ck out of here.
[Mike] That wasn't
my fault, man.
That asshole's wife started
the whole thing.
Come on. Easy, boys.
Hey,
I just had this son
of a bitch dry cleaned.
All right, let me
have another beer
and I'll sober up
a little bit.
Yeah, try it, Mike.
[taser buzzing]
[bouncer] I'll have you
hooked up to that line pole
waiting for the cops.
[Mike] You bastard.
I've been coming here
all my life.
Yeah, and you're
a nasty son of a bitch.
Nobody wants you around.
- Yeah, you're right about that.
[door opens]
[Teddy] Hold on,
my dick is out,
my dick is out.
Just hold it.
Nothing wrong
with my prostate.
[Mike] Hey.
That's a paying customer,
gentlemen.
Have a little respect.
[bouncer] Boys,
get the hell out of here.
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Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
"Small Town Crime" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 19 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/small_town_crime_18328>.