
Small Soldiers
- PG-13
- Year:
- 1998
- 110 min
- 1,115 Views
GloboTech Industries, long recognized
as the worldwide leader...
...in high-tech weaponry,
is now reaching even higher.
Under the leadership of CEO, Gil Mars...
...GloboTech engineers are blazing the trail
into tomorrow's most exciting sector.
Introducing advanced
battlefield technology...
...into consumer products
for the whole family.
For the first time, you and yours will enjoy
the same high quality standards...
...as demanded by the Defense Department,
GloboTech, turning swords into plowshares
for you and your family.
He's here. He's early.
He's not supposed to be here yet.
He said...
Slamfist optimal. Good. Check.
Chickens.
Let me help you with these.
Pretty exciting, huh?
I don't know. I think it's kind of sad.
Heartland Toys has a long tradition
of bringing joy to kids.
Gil Mars won't care about that.
He's just going to care about profits.
I think it sucks.
Welcome to Earth. You may not be
familiar with our customs...
...but things work like this down here,
in the real world.
Well, the real world sucks.
It does have its perks.
Gentlemen, I'm Ms. Kegel,
executive assistant to Mr. Mars.
Let me be the first to welcome you
to the GloboTech family.
Just as he's done with his computer,
telecommunications and food divisions...
...Mr. Mars intends to bring his own
personal touch to Heartland Play Systems.
Well, that's good.
All right.
These are...
Where's everybody else?
There is no longer any "everybody else".
Mr. Mars, it's an honor...
Cut the kiss-ass.
After I leave, I won't remember your name.
This is Irwin Wayfair.
I'm told you two are responsible for this.
Yes, sir. That's Flatchoo,
he's part of the Belch Brigade.
Actually, the whole line was Irwin's idea.
Once I did the marketing, it was the most
successful product in company history.
That's why I bought the place
and why you two are still onboard.
So, let's talk about the future.
Okay, these are Gorgonites. They...
Hi. How are you today?
I'm late.
Okay. I drew up some pictures.
That's a picture you can have.
All right, these are Gorgonites.
And this one.
This is Archer.
He's the grand, noble leader of...
Okay, and Troglokhan...
...the navigator who navigates.
Okay, they're monsters
from the land of Gorgon.
They've come to our world and are lost.
To return to Gorgon...
...they have to learn all about our world.
This way, kids can learn and do research...
Excuse me. Did you say "learn"?
Learn, yeah.
Next.
Mr. Mars...
...let me introduce you to...
...Major...
...Chip Hazard,
leader of the Commando Elite.
It's called multimedia, Irwin. Look into it.
The future is here.
A new age has dawned...
...for action!
The world's most awesome
high-tech fighting force...
the next millennium.
Chip Hazard, reporting for duty!
Wait. Hold on.
Hold on, hold on. Can they really do that?
- Do what?
- Punch out of the box.
No.
I didn't think so.
There's a disclaimer.
Legal says we're completely covered.
You know what I'm sick of?
Commercials showing trucks
popping up on Mount Rushmore...
...and parking on Abraham Lincoln's head.
And shampoo commercials that say
women can look like Claudia Schiffer...
...after one cycle of rinse and repeat.
What if these toys actually could talk?
What if they could walk?
What if they could actually kick ass?
Nick Nitro.
Toys that are so smart
when kids play with them...
...they play back.
Toys that actually do what they do
in the commercials.
That's an interesting idea.
Forget the "Batteries not included" crap.
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"Small Soldiers" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 7 Mar. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/small_soldiers_18324>.