Sleeping Beauty

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-Hey.

-Hi.

-Your autograph, please.

-Sure.

Thank you.

Thanks for this.

Good. That's it.

Good.

I'm pushing the air in now,

just a little.

So the pressure in the chest

will change.

You're doing a great job.

Do you need a ride, Lucy?

No, thanks.

Think I might do the dry cleaners'.

??

See you.

Can I interest you in a line?

Yeah, why not?

Thanks.

My pleasure.

-This is Lucy.

-Hi.

Hi, Lucy.

Lucy in the sky.

We were just talking about which

one of us is gonna f*** you.

Really?

Why don't you toss for it then?

You in?

Heads or tails?

Head.

C*nt.

Head it is.

Yes, my prince.

Did I say when?

Did I say tonight?

This year, next year.

Fair enough.

We'll toss.

Tonight or next year.

Tonight...

...head.

-Tonight.

-It's my lucky night.

Now, or in 5 hours?

OK, now.

Tails.

Tails never fails.

Let's go then, shall we?

Bye.

-Morning.

-Morning.

Have you got the rent?

The rent?

The rent.

As in the rent. The rent

is due, the rent is overdue.

Here's some. Won't kill them to wait.

You have no idea, do you?

It's her house.

Is it your house?

f

It's her parent's house. It's no

virtue on being born.

Just pay the f***ing rent.

And while you're at it,

clean the f***ing bathroom.

As we all agreed, it's your turn.

-I did clean the bathroom.

-You have to grout.

Grout.

In between the tiles,

the black stuff.

It will give me

great pleasure to grout.

Lucy.

Telephone.

It's your mother.

-Line 3.

-Thank you.

Hi, mom.

How did you get this number?

No.

Do you want me to lose this job?

OK, yes. I've got it in my hand.

It's VISA.

The expiry is 04/15.

Sorry?

Yeah, I can see it.

It's 399.

I have to go now, mom.

I have to go.

OK, bye.

-Hello, Lucy.

-Hello, Birdmann.

-Come in.

-I bare gifts.

Thanks.

-So, how are you?

-I'm very well, thank you. And you?

Oh yes, very well. Thank you.

-How's the family?

-Very well, thank you. And yours?

-Oh yes, very well.

-And how are the kids?

Yes, they're fantastic.

That's great.

It's good to see you.

You look beautiful.

Thank you.

I have something important to tell you.

Do you remember that time...

on the beach.

After we'd been to Andy's place,

that moment.

I wanted to kiss you.

You must have wanted me to kiss you.

I couldn't because of my tongue.

My tongue was furred.

Furred and thick.

Putrid.

The a**hole, of the a**hole,

of the a**hole.

I couldn't kiss you.

That's OK.

I wanted you to know.

I just want to love my friends.

I know.

It's not an unreasonable request.

I'm so f***ing tired...

of watching Oprah.

Hi. I'm Melissa. I'm calling about the ad

in the student paper.

Slim.

Pert.

What should I wear?

OK great. I look forward to seeing you.

Goodbye.

Are you sure you don't want

a cup of tea or coffee?

-Water?

-No, I'm fine. Thanks.

Yes, I think we're ready.

Yes.

-Hello.

-Hi.

Please, come in.

-Sit down.

-Thank you.

Thank you for coming.

Such a pleasure to see

such a unique beauty.

Let me tell you how things

should proceed.

I'll describe the job and then

if you're interested...

we'll discuss particulars,

how does that sound?

Yes. Good.

We're looking for Silver service waitress

to work at private functions...

in lingerie that we will supply.

You will be working with

other girls...

...some of whom will have

more responsibilities.

There is room for promotion.

The pay is $250/hour cash.

You'll be engaged on a freelance basis.

Job by job.

Either one of us can terminate our

arrangement at any time...

so please be sure to maintain another

more reliable source of income.

I understand.

We rely on mutual trust.

And discretion.

And I'm obliged to tell you they're

heavy penalties...

...very heavy penalties

for any breaches of discretion.

-Am I clear?

-Yes.

My sincere advice to you is to

use the money wisely.

Think of it as a windfall,

pay off a student loan.

Please, please do not think

of this as a career.

Just work hard for a short

amount of time.

Your vagina will not be penetrated.

-Your vagina will be a temple.

-My vagina...

...is not a temple.

While that's quite true my darling,

you won?t ever be penetrated.

Now. Will you stand up

for me please and strip.

Thomas?

Open your mouth, darling.

Not pierced?

Do you have any tattoos?

Good.

Stand your feet apart a few inches.

What's this?

I had a mole removed.

Please, get dressed.

I have some questions that

I need to ask you.

Are you on any medication?

Just the pill.

Anything else?

-No allergies? Antidepressants?

-No.

-Prozac? Effexor?

-No.

Are you a smoker?

No.

Maybe the occasional...

...jazz cigarette.

Very rarely.

Other drugs? Anything at all toxic?

No, never.

Why not?

Throughout history humankind has used drugs.

Drugs are a form of...

...grace.

Aspirin for the soul.

My mother is an alcoholic

with a violent temper.

She runs an astrology hotline.

We have a doctor that we'd

like you to see. For blood tests.

-Will that be a problem?

-No, that's fine.

You called us on a public telephone.

You have mobile?

-Yes.

-Good.

We'll cover all your expenses,

all your work-related expenses.

Now.

Silver service.

-Are you familiar with Silver service?

-Yes.

From what side does one serve the fish?

-Right side.

-Left side.

Thomas, take note.

Thomas is going to help you.

You are very beautiful.

Very talented.

But we're going to make you

even more beautiful.

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