Skating to New York Page #5

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if we come across some rabid polar bears,

you can just throw Casey

in front of them.

That's a good point. I like that.

Are there... are there

actually polar bears?

It's a joke, you dumbass! Jesus!

No, there's no polar bears, but I heard

some intense stories about this lake.

Grandfather fished it for years.

Fished or smuggled booze?

We all know he didn't really spend

two years fishing in Florida.

Yeah, I don't think you're one

to talk about family, bro.

Okay. Are we going to skate?

So...

Casey, what happened

to the ice dogs game?

Just another hockey game.

Okay, so here's the plan.

I think we should stay as a tight group.

One after the other,

about ten-yard separation, okay?

- Okay.

- We've really got to be a team out there.

Did everybody bring their extra food

and extra layers?

Everybody got their cell phones?

- Your cellphones?

- Check!

I hope you guys have all your sh*t because

there's nothing but ice out there, okay?

You guys ready to go? Let's do it!

Let's do it, boys! Let's go!

Let's get out there!

Believe this sh*t? It's like sex.

- Couch cushions don't count.

- I'll take what I can get.

Yeah!

Wingman to group leader,

target at 11:
00.

Roger on that, Maverick.

Turning to one-niner. Weapons armed.

Oh, yeah.

Hollywood to goose, form up

on my six for low-level strafing pass.

- Roger that, Hollywood.

- Forming up on your six.

- Fire on all planes!

- Let's do it!

Go! Let's go! Come on! Come on! Come on!

Come on!

Hello, boys!

Hey, wait. Where are those guys going?

To trouble.

Yeah.

Okay, boys. Time to get serious.

We got a long way to go.

No, no, no. We're doing the whip.

We're doing the whip! We're doing the whip!

- Hurry up.

- All right.

- Slackjaw!

- Yeah, yeah, yeah!

He broke out of it, Rudy!

I got him! I got him!

I'm coming!

- What is that?

- Please, God, let it be a Timmies.

If you had an open line to God,

why would you go so small?

I mean, make it room at the Hilton with,

you know, a hot tub and some strippers.

- Where the hell's the rest of the truck?

- And the guy driving it.

Must have been swept off

in a storm or something.

Who cares? As long

as we get out of this wind.

Yeah. I'm freezing.

A long way from home.

This place is gross.

It's like my Uncle's bathroom.

Everybody look for something we can use.

Anything can help. Just look around.

We got some nice,

comfy cushions in here.

I'm not sitting down on those.

It's colder in here than it is outside.

Can you please close

the goddamn door? Thank you.

The frame is crooked.

This disaster don't look

too secure, guys.

Well, if you know of a better place,

I'm sure we'd all love to hear about it.

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