Simon Konianski Page #2

and he's heard enough!

Grandpa!

Schmuli!

Look, this is for you, sweetheart.

No presents. It's not his birthday,

Easter or Christmas.

lt's Sukkoth, you goy,

in case you forgot.

l'm allowed to spoil

my only grandson.

Know what we're going to do?

We'll have a big chocolate sundae.

You know my chocolate sundae recipe?

Yes, Grandpa, ice cream

and tons of chocolate sauce!

lt's bad for your cholesterol too.

Screw my cholesterol!

l've told you 100 times

not to smoke in your room!

You only smoke on the balcony.

You'll asphyxiate us!

Don't burn that, you fool!

You'll jinx the lot of us.

Give me that!

What have you done?

Thank you, Rebbe.

Tell me,

do you keep the TV on full blast?

And you won't let him smoke?

And he still won't leave?

No, Rebbe.

So piss in the washbasin now.

- Out ofthe way!

- Shoot, Grandpa!

Pass to Fabregas.

Fabregas to Deco.

Deco to Ronaldinho

who heads for the goal.

Ronaldinho about to shoot...

And he scores!

Goal! What do you say to Grandpa?

Grandpa scored!

Already tired, my son?

You know, sport's important

for your health.

Even at Maidanek, l worked out.

Even when it was minus 20

and l hadn't eaten for days,

with my lungs full of pus...

Stop!

l don't want to hear any more!

l'm not listening.

l'm not interested, ok!

Just think, Schmuli...

No one wants to hear

about what they did to us in Poland.

The shame of it!

l'll listen to you, Grandpa.

You're sweet,

my little Schmuli-yngele.

Dad, that's disgusting!

Use the toilet!

lf l want to piss

in my kitchen sink,

l'll piss in my kitchen sink!

Why aren't you asleep?

lt's my pills.

The leaflet says insomnia,

troubles and urticaria.

Show me. Where is it?

What for? You're a doctor now?

Maybe you took mine instead.

Stop that. It took me hours

to get evemhing sorted.

Here are my pills, Mr Doctor!

Brilliant doctor,

in a surgical collar all his life!

Where does it say, ''lnsomnia,

sleep troubles and urticaria''?

On the leaflet l threw out.

- Water costs money!

- And the stink of piss?

l lost my sense of smell

when my nose froze at Maidanek.

Enough! You've told me that stoy

l think he'll move out now.

l gave half of my bread

to Dan Salesmann

because he was thinner than me.

A real skeleton.

And that was when Kapo Michal...

You remember him,

the fat Polack slob?

He came into our hut

and saw Salesmann eating bread.

He shouted so loud!

What did fat Kapo Michal do?

He hit him with his stick,

hit him over and over,

so hard that the stick broke in two.

After, Salesmann walked hunched up

like an old mole.

- An old mole skeleton?

- Yes.

Remember my pal Salesmann?

l hid with him in the caca pit

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