Simon Birch Page #5

and the armadillo-wielding

Ben Goodrich,

enough so that one Sunday

she brought him with us to church.

Hi, Joe! Hi, Miss Wenteworth!

Hi, Ben Goodrich!

Hi, Simon!

I have something

for you.

- You made that for me?

- I did indeed, my little doll.

I think it's gonna be getting cool

pretty soon and you need to have...

a beautiful sweater

just for you.

Hopefully, a good fit.

So, let's see?

Oops!

Oh, my goodness.

Well,

what a very long

piece of yarn.

- He looks like a hobo.

- It's perfect.

Just like you.

Come on.

Blessed is he

whose transgression is forgiven,

whose sin is covered.

I said I will confess

my transgressions unto the Lord...

and Thou forgave us

the inequity of my sin.

- The Word of the Lord.

- Thanks be to God.

I'd like to take a few minutes

to discuss some...

of the upcoming activities

on the church calendar.

Here we go.

- What's wrong, Simon?

- Who knows what God thinks

about current events?

- Does someone have a question?

- Uh, no, sir.

Uh, Your Honor, no...

Father, thank you.

No, sir.

It's always nice to see

new faces in the congregation.

Uh, I'd like

to invite them...

to join my wife and children

and, uh, myself...

for coffee and donuts

downstairs after the service.

- What does coffee and donuts

have to do with God?

- Simon Birch, be quiet.

Simon, is there something you'd like

to share with the rest of us?

I said, "What does coffee and donuts

have to do with God?"

They're merely refreshments

so people can socialize and, uh,

discuss the upcoming activities.

Whoever said that church needs

a continental breakfast?

- Simon!

- I doubt that God is interested

in our church activities.

- Simon!

- If God has made the church

bake sale our priority,

then I'd say we're all

in a lot of trouble.

Simon, that is enough!

Children may be excused...

to go to Sunday school.

- Simon?

- Yes, ma'am?

Don't you feel that you owe

Reverend Russell an apology?

- Simon?

- I'm thinking.

Well, you can just sit there

and think...

until you apologize

to poor Reverend Russell.

Class dismissed.

Joe, dismissed.

- See you later, alligator.

- After a while, crocodile.

- Reverend Russell.

- Go on outside, Joe.

- He didn't mean anything.

- Stop making excuses for him.

If Simon is going to be

a member of our congregation,

he has to start behaving

like a normal person.

- He is a normal person.

- Simon Birch is not a normal person.

Just go on outside, Joe.

Well...

are we, uh, ready

to apologize?

He's thinking

about it.

Simon.

What do you think you're doing

sitting in a corner?

- Thinking about God.

- In a corner?

Faith is not

in a floor plan.

- Keep him here.

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