Silent Night

Synopsis: The police force of a remote Midwestern town search for a killer Santa Claus who is picking off citizens on Christmas Eve.
Director(s): Steven C. Miller
Production: Anchor Bay Films
Rotten Tomatoes:
94 min

Up on the housetop,

reindeer pause

Out jumps

good ol' Santa Claus

Down through the chimney

with lots of toys

All for the little ones'

Christmas joys

Who wouldn't go?

Who wouldn't go?

Up on the housetop,

click, click, click

Down through the chimney

with good Saint Nick

First comes the stocking

of little Nell

Oh, dear Santa,

fill it well

Give her a dolly

that laughs and cries

One that can open

and shut its eyes

Who wouldn't go?

Who wouldn't go?

Up on the housetop,

click, click, click

Down through the chimney

With good Saint Nick

Look in the stocking

of little Will

Oh, just see

what a glorious fill

Here is a hammer

and lots of tacks

Whistle and ball

and a whip that cracks

Who wouldn't go?

Who wouldn't go?

- No!

- Up on the housetop

Click, click, click...

Down through the chimney

with good Saint Nick...

Who wouldn't go?

Who wouldn't go?

Up on the housetop,

click, click, click

Down through the chimney

with good Saint Nick

Down here!

I'm down here!


The basement.

Hello. Hey. Hey. I'm down here.

Just let me go, okay?


'Cause I... I didn't know

she was married.

What are you... what...

what are you doing?

Just look, it's...

it's a fucking misunderstanding.

I didn't... I'm sorry, okay?

She was begging for it.

What the f*ck did you...?

I didn't read that...

'cause you're her husband.

I... f*ck, I didn't...

okay, just-

how the f*ck am I supposed to know

that she was married?

'Cause she wasn't even wearing

a fucking wedding ring, okay?

I swear to God, I'm never-

I'm never gonna touch her again.

I'm gonna get

the f*ck out of here, okay?


You're... you're not

her husband.


you're just a sick f*ck.

Say something!


- Up and at 'em, Deputy.

- Sheriff?

I need you at the station

at 1500 hours.

Wait. Why?

Deputy Jordan's got my shift.

Jordan's MIA.

Wait, what?

No one's seen him

since Thursday.

Apparently he's gonzo,

out of here,

got a whiff of something

he couldn't pass up.

Sir, I can't work tonight.

It's Christmas Eve.

It's Christmas Eve

for all of us,

the season of giving,

so get off your sorry ass.

Town hall's expecting

a record number of Santas.

It's gonna be

a real clusterfuck.

With all due respect, sir,

today is a really tough day

for me.

It's my first Christmas

without John.

Okay, well, I'll look forward

to seeing you.

A six-sided item, nine letters.

I'm home.

I'm innocent, I swear. I swear.

Police brutality!

Help! Help! Help!

Daddy, I'm sorry I can't be here

tonight, but you understand.

That's okay, darling.

You just write

as many parking tickets as you can

for all those other wannabes

and then look for me

up on that throne.

Oh, well, that would be cheating,

wouldn't it, Mother?

She's straight as an arrow.

- I am proud of you, kiddo.

- Thank you.

There's a gift in the mailbox

for you, Hank.

Give it here.

Hey, Daddy,

what's a six-sided item?

A cube.

Nine letters.

A hexagon.

Close. That's seven.

I'll figure it out eventually.

Anyways, good luck.

I'm not gonna need it.

This is gonna be my year.

Of course it is.

And in the morning,

we will open up Christmas presents

and we will have leftovers and we'll

spend the whole day together, okay?

- You be careful out there, hon.

- Of course.

- You promise?

- Of course, Mother.

And watch out for those drunken Santas

with the wandering hands?

And no letting them off

with just a smile

and a slap on the wrist,

not my girl.

I won't let you down, Dad.

Deck the halls

with boughs of holly

'Tis the season to be jolly

Don we now our gay apparel

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    "Silent Night" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 26 Nov. 2020. <>.

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