Shut Up and Kiss Me

Synopsis: A modern day take on the trials and tribulations of dating. We follow Ben as he faces the world of dating as a 35 year old who is looking for more then sex. After testing out different routes and adventures, he stumbles across Grey. The chemistry between the two is instant, but what happens when you meet someone who doesn't share the same beliefs about relationships that you do? This funny and touching film touches on relevant topics in today's society including sexual monogamy, Serodiscordant relationships and can someone really have it all? Written by Ronnie Kerr, this film is an autobiographical look at his life.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Devin Hamilton
Production: Kerrdog Productions
 
IMDB:
4.2
R
Year:
2010
78 min
10 Views

1

Have you ever used a video

dating service before, hon?

No.

Just be natural.

Talk about yourself,

what you like

because don't worry about it.

Guy-Five-- I am the best all-male

dating service around

because I'm gonna hook you up.

We're gonna do

a little video of you

and your five

hot friends here, okay?

Because they say that we are

a sum of our five closest friends.

Is that perfect?

Perfect.

Okay.

Are you ready?

Yeah.

0kay--

Wait, wait, wait.

Hold on.

Hold on for a second.

Oh, what are you doing?

What are you doing?

You've got a cowlick, hon.

I've gotta fix that.

No, that's h0w--

Ow. That's how

I wear my hair

Ooh, God,

it's so much gel.

It's all good.

It's fine now.

Oh, ooh, nice, sweetheart.

Ooh, God, nice body.

One of the perks of my job,

get to touch all the boys.

Yummy.

Okay, you ready?

And, action.

Hi, my name is Ben.

No, no, no, n0, n0,

let's try to be

a little more natural, honey,

not like you got a coat hanger

stuck in your mouth.

Okay.

Now?

Yes.

Okay.

Um, hi, my name is Ben.

And...

And I'm looking to go

on a date.

Okay, why don't you tell

the Guy-5 viewers

a little about yourself?

Your stats, like your height,

weight, you know.

I'm 5'9",

and I weigh 190 pounds.

I have brown hair

and Blue eyes.

I'm seven inches circumcised.

Cut.

Oh, I'm seven inches cut.

No, cut the tape.

[whispers]

Cut the tape.

We don't tell penis size.

Oh, you said tell statistics,

so--

N0, no, honey,

penis size

is a very personal thing

that should be explored

one on one. Okay?

Okay, gotcha.

Okay, yeah.

One on one.

Now let's settle

Ah, let's breathe

into the taint,

out the balls.

Okay, let's relax and smile.

Go.

Should I do it from

the beginning 0rjust--

Just continue, honey,

because I'm gonna have to cut

the shit out of this laten

Um...

I'm an Aries.

I don't know

what that means,

butl like Thai food,

comic books,

and I'm originally

from New Jersey,

the good part, of course,

and I own a fitness company

with my best friend Vinnie.

Vinnie's straight,

but he's the closest thing

to a brother thatl have.

We have so much in common,

actually.

We're both from back east.

Brooklyn all day, baby.

We both like action films.

He likes car chases.

I like Jason Statham.

Uh, we both like chick flicks

and Lisa Loeb.

What the f*ck?

No, no we don't.

Whoa. Would you--

you cut with the F-bombs, okay?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Yeah, you should be sorry.

All rig ht, now, let's go.

Come on, Ben.

This is my best friend,

Vinnie,

and we own

a business togethen

What's poppin'?

Ben's a good QUY,

so go on a date with him.

Okay, these are my friends

James and Sara.

[whispering]

James and Sara.

0h--

You guys should pick Ben.

He'll be like this

all night long.

Oh, and he's huge.

Too bad he's a bottom.

[mouthing]

Thank you, James and Sara.

[mutters]

It's not true.

[chuckles]

And this is Callie

and Brad.

They just got married.

Yay, married.

And they want to say

a few nice words on my behalf.

Oh, yeah.

Hello, everyone.

Ben is such a doll.

I love you, Ben.

Thank you.

You're my gay boyfriend.

[whispers]

Thanks.

Thanks.

Ben's a commitment-phobe.

Cut, cut, okay.

Whoa... hello?

You guys are trying

to make him look like a catch,

so let's not talk

about his commitment phobia,

his obvious lack of personality,

or the fact

that he uses steroids, okay?

And F-Y-I, sweetheart,

tops are much more in demand.

I don't do steroids,

and I'm not a bottom.

[laughing]

I'm sure you don't, dear,

and I'm sure you aren't.

And you need to stop telling

people

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Ronnie Kerr

Ronnie Kerr (born Ronald George Smith III, 30 March 1974) is an American actor, best known for playing the role of Romeo in The Army Show and the movie Shut up and Kiss Me in 2010. He has also starred in many other films and been as a personal trainer to several celebrity clients. His first TV role was in NYPD Blue in 2001 which led to other film and TV roles. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Shut Up and Kiss Me" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 18 Oct. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/shut_up_and_kiss_me_18086>.

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