Shrink Page #2
- We got to get a soap guy in here.
- I'll do it over lunch.
Yeah, but Dave Levine is using that soap.
Do you know how many pros he's been with?
- Yeah.
- Disgusting.
You know what?
Let's just buy some soap.
- Done.
- Lots of soap.
Liquid, antibacterial, hospital grade.
It's going to be my soap.
Private collection.
That's how we're doing it.
What else you got?
Hit me.
I wore gloves.
Okay. You need to send
Michael Burns and his goomah
a "thank you" note for dinner
last Friday evening.
- Why?
- Because it's good manners.
Listen, I need you to go...
No, get a guy.
Find a guy, like an intern or something.
And I need him to go to this place
and take a sh*t on that guy's doorstep.
Wow, are you...
Are you serious?
Yeah.
Listen, I know you're knocked up,
but let's show a little hustle on that soap.
And get that guy to sh*t on that doorstep.
That is mission critical.
Hey, Jack, would you mind
if we switched our appointment
next week to 5:
00...All right, then, forget about it.
You think I'm a sex addict?
No, I think you might be an alcoholic.
Now, I'm a functioning alcoholic.
Yeah, we've talked about this, Jack.
That's a very misleading term.
In my day, I balled
a lot of chicks, you know.
The stories are true.
Yeah, I know,
you've been sexually active, yes.
Damn right I was active.
Wow, it was amazing.
Then I got married ten years ago.
Promised to give all that up, you know.
Hung up my spurs.
Put the pony in the paddock.
Yeah, you might also put it
that you made a commitment.
Yeah. I did.
No more chasing strange,
no more French wrestling.
Do you love your wife?
God, I love Susan.
She's amazing.
She's f***ing incredible.
Make's me harder than Chinese algebra.
I love my wife.
You know, I love Paris.
I just wouldn't want to live there
the rest of my life.
It's a f***ing addiction, Doc.
I mean that literally.
I'm addicted to f***ing.
I should go to Cock Enders.
- You are not a sex addict.
- Really?
Look, if you are beginning
to have feelings of temptation,
we can find ways for you to cope.
I'm ahead of you on that, Doc, okay?
I think I've found a way to cope
because I got this friend, okay?
We'll call him the Admiral.
He's a world-class cocksman.
When I say "world-class,"
I mean this guy sees more puss
than a litter box.
And, Doc...
I do this thing.
All right.
I call him in the morning
and he tells me what went on
the night before.
Kind of a "coitus discriptus"
kind of thing,
and then I...
you know, butter the corn.
Punch the clown.
A little beef "strokinoff."
You know what I'm saying?
- I got it.
- Yeah.
I mean, that's the disease.
That's the addiction.
That's wrong, right?
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Shrink" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 4 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/shrink_18079>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In