Shorts Page #4
Hey, I wish you would
just stop talking about my mom...
Pretty.
...and just go out with me again, God.
Oh. Okay, well, I wish
you'd grow up. How about...
Whoa, that's huge!
My hand's huge!
My hand's huger than my foot!
I'm growing, I'm growing!
- Relax. Jeez.
I'm getting so big that...
You fixed all my teeth.
How strong are you guys?
I mean, if you really had to be tough
against a bully.
Because I might have a job for you
tomorrow at school.
I was hoping for something
a little more menacing.
I will show no mercy.
You're hired.
I have no time for you,
but now I'm having to chase you down?
I don't feel so good. I'm in the hospital.
- In the hospital?
- And it's all your fault.
Oh, my fault? How is it my fault?
They're building me
a bigger room as we speak.
They're making a bigger
room for you? What are...
- You see what happens?
- Hello?
Oh, no! It's happening again!
Hello?
Dad says I have to give you a ride.
It's okay. I just feel like walking.
You look different.
Did you bathe or something?
No.
Weirdo.
I'll take it from here, guys.
Can't have anybody seeing you...
...yet.
There he is!
Grab him!
How would you like your braces
up your nose?
Your braces.
Where are they?
Up my nose.
I put a few candy bars in the front pocket.
My Black Box is set to music mode
in case you get hungry or bored.
Who are you talking to?
Imaginary friends?
Rock 'n' roll.
Heavy metal.
Not today.
Now, class, we continue our experiments
with combustible liquids...
...so everyone please take your seats
and make sure to wear eye protection.
Now that we've isolated our agents...
...we can make a hypothesis
as to the outcome.
Toby, can we stifle our inner
High School Musical long enough...
...to observe this chemical reaction?
I have to get it exactly right.
Once we introduce the catalyst...
- Give it back.
- Mine, mine, mine.
Mine, mine, mine.
Mine.
Ow!
- Sorry.
- You will be.
Drop it!
Very perceptive, Toby.
We must be certain
to use the proper amount of catalyst.
In this case...
...one drop.
- That's it.
- Tsk, tsk, tsk.
You asked for it.
Say hello to my little friends.
Mr. Thompson, perhaps a visit
to the principal's office is in order...
...possibly followed by one
to the school psychologist!
Break!
I think I broke...
...a nail.
Me too.
I'm gonna squash you for this.
I know.
So you don't know
I thought they were my friends.
He wished for friends.
He is not evolved enough
for an autopsy.
He has friends all around.
He just doesn't know it yet.
Well, my alien buddies didn't stick around.
I guess friends can't be wished
into existence.
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"Shorts" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/shorts_18049>.
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