
Shock Treatment
3
Once upon a time,
in a town not far from yours...
there lived a real fast guy.
His life was fast.
His friends were fast.
Even his food was fast.
But he was still not satisfied.
He wanted to share
his fast philosophy...
with someone else...
a beautiful girl.
The trouble was
she was in the arms of...
another man.
Good luck, honey.
- What are we gonna do, Janet?
- It's all right, Brad.
Everything's gonna be
all right.
You'll find happy hearts
And smiling faces
And tolerance for
The ethnic races
In Denton
You'll find a ramblin' rose
And a picket fence
Tenderness
And innocence
In Denton
You'll find
conference rooms
And a children's playground
Denton is a real okay town
Full of beauty
You may call us
the goody-goody two shoes
We're here to cheer you
with the good news
That D-E-N-T-O-N
Gets T-E-N
That's ten out of ten
If you're looking
for a life of leisure
You're gonna get
Again and again
And again and again
And again
Denton, Denton
You've got no pretension
You're okay
Denton, Denton
I'd just like to mention
You're the home of youth
You're America's truth
You're Denton
Denton, U.S.A.
This is the mecca
of America
The Bethlehem of the West
This is the birthplace
of the virtuous
The home of happiness
Leisure-wise
we're sure you will adapt
Enjoy your stay
Have a happy holiday
And we'll all put Denton
Denton on the map
Denton, Denton
You've got no pretension
You're okay
Denton, Denton
I'd just like to mention
You're the home of youth
You're America's truth
You're Denton
Denton, U.S.A.
Denton, Denton
You've got no pretension
You're okay
Denton, Denton
I'd just like to mention
You're the acceptable face
Of the human race
You're Denton
Denton, U.S.A.
Well, how about that?
Wasn't that terrific?
And now for, well, certainly...
my favorite part of the show...
- and I sincerely hope yours at home.
- Get the whole crowd.
- Our regular in-depth discussion...
Denton's leading
social scientist.
- Judge Wright?
- Mm-hmm.
Did you enjoy our anthem?
In a way.
I detect a note of reticence.
Are you perhaps
who feel this emotive form of presentation
is overly manipulative?
Well, Betty,
there are many ways...
that the spider
may catch the fy.
There are monetary inducements.
- Hi, Brad. Hi, Janet. Come for Marriage Maze?
- Extortion.
Seduction.
I'm exhausted working on this documentary
for Farley's new show.
- Blackmail.
- Farley Flavors, our new sponsor.
- Oh.
- Whoo.
- Prejudice.
I tell you, Janet,
that guy's as close as we'll come...
to a successful man
in this town.
- And lies.
- Thank you, Judge Oliver Wright.
And now for a commercial break.
Okay, kids, let's hear
the five F's for today.
- "F" for-
- Farley!
- "F" for-
- Flavors!
- "F" for-
- Fabulous!
- "F" for-
- Fast!
- And "F" for-
- Five!
First and foremost...
Farley Flavors'
fabulous fast foods...
feed and fortify families
for a fabulous future.
Stand by for Marriage Maze.
Strike Denton Dossier.
Thank you so much, Judge Wright,
for another wonderful interview.
Judge Wright? Oh, come on, Betty.
First names surely.
Oh. Oliver. You're so tolerant.
Time for a coffee break
before you rush off?
I'd love to, that is if you don't mind
being seen with an older man.
Why, Oliver.
Since Ralph and I separated,
maturity is something I look for in a man.
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Citation
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"Shock Treatment" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 16 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/shock_treatment_18018>.