Shock Treatment

3

Once upon a time,

in a town not far from yours...

there lived a real fast guy.

His life was fast.

His friends were fast.

Even his food was fast.

But he was still not satisfied.

He wanted to share

his fast philosophy...

with someone else...

a beautiful girl.

The trouble was

she was in the arms of...

another man.

Good luck, honey.

- What are we gonna do, Janet?

- It's all right, Brad.

Everything's gonna be

all right.

You'll find happy hearts

And smiling faces

And tolerance for

The ethnic races

In Denton

You'll find a ramblin' rose

And a picket fence

Tenderness

And innocence

In Denton

You'll find

conference rooms

And a children's playground

Denton is a real okay town

Civic pride and civic duty

And Denton girls are

Full of beauty

You may call us

the goody-goody two shoes

We're here to cheer you

with the good news

That D-E-N-T-O-N

Gets T-E-N

That's ten out of ten

If you're looking

for a life of leisure

You're gonna get

a whole lot to please ya

Again and again

And again and again

And again

Denton, Denton

You've got no pretension

You're where the heart is

You're okay

Denton, Denton

I'd just like to mention

You're the home of youth

You're America's truth

You're Denton

Denton, U.S.A.

This is the mecca

of America

The Bethlehem of the West

This is the birthplace

of the virtuous

The home of happiness

Leisure-wise

we're sure you will adapt

Enjoy your stay

Have a happy holiday

And we'll all put Denton

Denton on the map

Denton, Denton

You've got no pretension

You're where the heart is

You're okay

Denton, Denton

I'd just like to mention

You're the home of youth

You're America's truth

You're Denton

Denton, U.S.A.

Denton, Denton

You've got no pretension

You're where the heart is

You're okay

Denton, Denton

I'd just like to mention

You're the acceptable face

Of the human race

You're Denton

Denton, U.S.A.

Well, how about that?

Wasn't that terrific?

And now for, well, certainly...

my favorite part of the show...

- and I sincerely hope yours at home.

- Get the whole crowd.

- Our regular in-depth discussion...

- Dressing room. Right here.

With Judge Oliver Wright...

Denton's leading

social scientist.

- Judge Wright?

- Mm-hmm.

Did you enjoy our anthem?

In a way.

I detect a note of reticence.

Are you perhaps

one of those amongst us...

who feel this emotive form of presentation

is overly manipulative?

Well, Betty,

there are many ways...

that the spider

may catch the fy.

There are monetary inducements.

- Hi, Brad. Hi, Janet. Come for Marriage Maze?

- Extortion.

Seduction.

I'm exhausted working on this documentary

for Farley's new show.

- Blackmail.

- Farley Flavors, our new sponsor.

- Oh.

- Whoo.

- Prejudice.

I tell you, Janet,

that guy's as close as we'll come...

to a successful man

in this town.

- And lies.

- Thank you, Judge Oliver Wright.

And now for a commercial break.

Okay, kids, let's hear

the five F's for today.

- "F" for-

- Farley!

- "F" for-

- Flavors!

- "F" for-

- Fabulous!

- "F" for-

- Fast!

- And "F" for-

- Five!

First and foremost...

Farley Flavors'

fabulous fast foods...

feed and fortify families

for a fabulous future.

Stand by for Marriage Maze.

Strike Denton Dossier.

Thank you so much, Judge Wright,

for another wonderful interview.

Judge Wright? Oh, come on, Betty.

First names surely.

Oh. Oliver. You're so tolerant.

Time for a coffee break

before you rush off?

I'd love to, that is if you don't mind

being seen with an older man.

Why, Oliver.

Since Ralph and I separated,

maturity is something I look for in a man.

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