Shock To The System Page #6

So somebody could have

slipped it into his drink

without him knowing?

Murder.

Or he took it himself.

I intend

to find out.

I'm doing a little

undercover work tonight

at the Phoenix Foundation.

Isn't that the sweater

my mother made you?

Yup.

It's group therapy.

I have to blend in

with all the other

recovering homosexuals.

I won't tell her

you said that.

You think someone there

might know something

about Paul's death?

Well, it's possible.

They're definitely

hiding something

there's something they don't

want the police to know about

and I intend to find

out what it is.

You have to save me

some Thai food,

and don't eat all

the ice cream, piggy.

Good luck.

And don't let him

brainwash you.

I'm the only one

who gets to do that.

...I was a freshman at NYU,

thought I was gonna be

this huge artist, you know?

My first winter

was so shitty,

being away

from home and all.

So that's when I started,

you know, doin' things...

gay things.

Goin' to clubs,

going to bars.

And pretty soon,

I was doing drugs, too.

I just wanted

to meet somebody,

fall in love,

all that stuff.

But it's just like

the whole scene,

it's so crazy.

So what changed

for you, Jefferson?

What brought you here?

A few weeks ago,

I went to this party

and for

the first time ever

I felt, just

really dirty,

I hated myself.

I pretty much

hated everything.

I couldn't break free.

I came back to Albany

to get some distance.

To figure

sh*t out.

"Turn now every one

of you from his evil way,

"and then you shall dwell

in the land which I gave

"to you

and your fathers."

We have one new member

joining us tonight,

Kyle?

I'm, uh, just

checking it out,

see, if it will

work for me.

What's Kyle doing...?

Self-defining.

Yes, self-defining.

I can't tell Kyle

this is the way to go.

You can't tell him.

The choices we make

are our own choices.

But you do have

the choice to change.

It's not going

to be easy.

But you have

to ask yourself

what's the value of

something if you don't have

to fight for it?

Life's a challenge,

a struggle,

there's nothing wrong

with working hard

for something

you believe in.

Choosing a straight lifestyle

opens up all kinds of doors,

amazing opportunities.

It's a path most homosexuals

are not strong enough to take.

It takes faith

and commitment.

You have to be

extremely motivated

you have to want something

better for yourself

and your family

so badly

that you can resist

the temptations

that will

surely come.

I know we were all very

upset to hear the news

of Paul Hale's death.

All I can say about

it right now is

I'm happy to talk

to any of you about Paul

in our individual sessions.

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