Shallow Hal

Synopsis: Following the advice of his dying father, Hal dates only women who are physically beautiful. One day, however, he runs into self-help guru Tony Robbins, who hypnotizes him into recognizing only the inner beauty of women. Hal thereafter meets Rosemary, a grossly obese woman whom only he can see as a vision of loveliness. But will their relationship survive when Hal's equally shallow friend undoes the hypnosis?
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Fantasy
Production: 20th Century Fox
  3 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.9
Metacritic:
48
Rotten Tomatoes:
50%
PG-13
Year:
2001
114 min
$70,703,043
Website
867 Views


Mrs. Larson?

It, uh...

It won't be much longer, Mrs. Larson.

Well, is he in a lot of pain?

No. No, no. There will be

No more pain for your husband.

He's heavily sedated.

OK. I think I'm gonna go

send little Hal in now.

No. No, no. I don't think

that's such a good idea.

With all the pain killers, uh...

the reverend's not exactly himself.

Look, I think my boy has a right

to say goodbye to his father.

I mean, the man means

everything in the world to him.

Well... your call.

Nurse?

Yes, Reverend Larson?

- Did you see the cowboy?

- The cowboy?

The cowboy who gave me

the singing nickel in Pudding Town?

OK. I think it's time

to turn down the morphine drip.

Reverend Larson, your son is here.

OK, sure. Send her in.

Ladies? A little privacy.

Dad?

It's me, Dad. Hal.

Oh.

Glad you're here, kiddo.

Got a few things to tell ya.

First, I want you to promise

that no matter what you do in life,

you will never ever settle for average.

Yes, sir.

Second, don't be satisfied

with routine poontang.

Huh?

Don't do what I did.

I married for love, and your mother

Betty has been a nightmare.

But, Dad, Mom's name is Marian.

Listen to me. I'm giving you pearls here.

And third, find yourself...

a classic beauty...

with a perfect can... and great totties.

That will put you in good stead

with the Lord. It's all in here.

Yes, sir.

Hot young tail's what it's all about.

Hot... young... tail.

I'll make you proud, Papa.

Uncle Larry's hooked on ice again

He seems to be stuck in the '80s

He wears his Members Only jacket

Cos he thinks it turns on all the ladies

And all the white folks shake their asses

Looking for the two and four

I'll have mine in martini glasses

Cos I can't take it any more

These are the days of empty kitchens

The rise and fall of Mary Ellen's hair do...

Jackass, can you not hear me down there?

I don't want anything to do with you,

you little warthog.

You had me at "Get lost".

- What's up, Mauricio?

- Hey, Hal.

- How's the crowd tonight?

- Good. I got a few bites.

- Can I get you a drink?

- I won't say no to that.

Two beers.

- Two Buds?

- Two Buds.

So, I didn't expect to see you here.

Where's your new girl Loni?

- Lindy.

- Lindy.

- She's, uh...

- There you go.

Actually, I didn't tell her

I was goin' out tonight.

Why not? Things OK with you guys?

Yeah, a little too OK,

if you know what I'm talkin' about.

- What does that mean?

- Things are going in the shitter real quick.

Jeez, I'm sorry to hear that.

Why is she dumping you?

- She's not. I'm dumping her.

- You're dumping Loni?

- Lindy.

- What, are you crazy? Lindy's gorgeous.

On the surface, but when you get to know her

better, there's a whole other story goin' on.

Yeah? How goes that?

We're sitting there, you know, and

she's got her bare... feet up on the couch,

and I notice that her second toe is, like,

half an inch longer than her big toe.

- That's it? You're breaking up over that?

- Hey, I don't need that circus shit.

Well, couldn't she get the toe

filed down or something?

What, then I'm dating a nub?

I'm starting to think we're jinxed here.

- Speak for yourself, my friend.

- What, you got the promotion?

I don't hear till tomorrow, but guess who

is now officially going out with Jill.

Jill?! Your neighbour Jill?

You're going out with Jill, your neighbour?

And she doesn't exactly hate me.

Get out!

You are the luckiest man on the planet.

So what are you doing here?

She's hostessing until 11. I better get going.

I'm gonna try to catch her on the way home,

see if she wants to get a drink.

If I know you, that's not all she'll be gettin'.

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Translation

Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Español (Spanish)
  • Esperanto (Esperanto)
  • 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Português (Portuguese)
  • Deutsch (German)
  • العربية (Arabic)
  • Français (French)
  • Русский (Russian)
  • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • 한국어 (Korean)
  • עברית (Hebrew)
  • Українська (Ukrainian)
  • اردو (Urdu)
  • Magyar (Hungarian)
  • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italiano (Italian)
  • தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Türkçe (Turkish)
  • తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Čeština (Czech)
  • Polski (Polish)
  • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Românește (Romanian)
  • Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latinum (Latin)
  • Svenska (Swedish)
  • Dansk (Danish)
  • Suomi (Finnish)
  • فارسی (Persian)
  • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English (English)

Discuss this Shallow Hal script with the community:

Citation

Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

Style:MLAChicagoAPA

"Shallow Hal" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 11 Jul 2020. <https://www.scripts.com/script/shallow_hal_17912>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

Watch the movie trailer

Shallow Hal

The Marketplace:

Sell your Script !

Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!


The Studio:

ScreenWriting Tool

Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.